A Time To Keep
by acquiescently
Summary: "Perhaps the hardest thing about losing a lover is to watch the year repeat its days." – Anne Carson.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there, I'm back. I apologize for disappearing on you all. I miss this place.**

**Also, for visual help, here is the video from my tumblr (acquiescently) for this story: **** acquiescently*tumblr/post/89308594403/a-time-to-keep-ezria-fanfic-perhaps-the-hardest**

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**January, 2015**

Woken up by the distant sound of waves crashing, Ezra Fitz found the glaring sun looking directly down at him. He slowly sat up and looked around, seeing nothing but snow capped trees and patches of melting ice on the muddy ground. There was a hushed feeling of uncertainty suspended in air, a vague sensation that reminded him of dreams he once had but never could fully remember. The resonating sound of the waves seemed to have faded out, leaving him in complete and uneasy silence. He began to walk but stopped in his tracks when he found himself on the edge of a cliff. Overlooking the lake, he spotted someone in the water, floating perfectly still. It was peaceful at first, watching the young woman relaxing on the surface of the clear water with her hair moving gracefully along the steady current. He watched for another moment until absorbing fully what was happening before his eyes. She was drowning – but what was worse was that it had appeared that she had been for quite some time.

His panicked blue eyes switched back and forth between the young woman and the rocky trail, and he ran, hoping he would get there just in time. Finally, from a considerable height into the water, he took one deep breath and jumped off the edge, swimming as fast as he could. The freezing water pummeled against his body, making him feel like he was swimming through wet cement – each stroke feeling heavier than the last, giving the belief that he was never going to get to where he wanted to.

**June, 2014**

It was a summer night in Manhattan when they realized that they had fallen madly, so suddenly in love. Aria Montgomery was someone Ezra Fitz was longing to write about. Her eyes had the brilliance of her remaining youth, hidden behind the golden green tints of pensive mystery which he, only now realized, wanted to unveil for himself. A pair of eyes was always something he paid keen attention to, and her eyes were eye-catching indeed.

"I've made up my mind." Ezra said as they stepped out of the building, escaping the coterie of fellow writers.

"About?" said Aria.

"You."

"Oh yeah?" She said with a small teasing smile.

"Yes. And us, I suppose. But more importantly–" He paused, walking in front of her. "What we'll have for breakfast. I think we'll have pancakes." He said, making her laugh. "Unless of course you prefer waffles. That's doable. Just your luck, I recently got a Belgian Waffle Maker." He saw her give a funny look. "To clear things up, I wasn't exactly going around particularly hunting for a waffle maker. It was a gift...from my mom." He said as if that had justified everything.

"Your mother got you a Belgian Waffle Maker for your birthday?"

"I didn't say for my birthday."

"Then what for?"

He paused, giving her a look and said, "...I just wanted a waffle maker. What? A guy can't want something good in his life?"

Aria laughed again then smiled at him. "Well, sounds like you won't need me. It seems like you lead a very content life."

"Now, now, you're forgetting one thing."

"What?"

"You're better than a waffle maker."

Tilting her head, Aria looked at him and dramatically put her hand on her chest. "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me." She said sarcastically. "Glad to know I'm better than a common kitchen appliance."

Ezra gestured with his hand and said, "Hey, not everyone owns one."

"Oh, so you mean to tell me it's rare?"

"Clearly." He nodded solidly. "Which, as logic follows, makes you better than rare. More valuable. In fact–" He stepped closer to her and said in almost a whisper, "You are a rarity I would never want to share with anyone else."

Aria glanced down, resisting the impending smile upon her lips. A moment later, she felt his hand making its way around hers as her foot advanced forward in response, bringing her body closer to his. Their nervous yet excited fingers, once met, became laced, finally closing all the imaginable spaces between them. And with one smooth, slow motion of their feet, they came together for a deep kiss. It had felt like what a kiss ought to feel like; delicate and sincere marked by the sweet possibility of infinities.

For a moment, they stayed still and were fighting the urge to smile so foolishly and embarrassingly. Ezra stepped back and let out a chuckle so soft that it was almost inaudible.

Aria took her hand back and smiled. "So what number am I?"

"Pardon?" He hid his hands in his pockets as they continued to walk down the street.

"To all the _rare_ girls you've delivered that line to, am I girl number ten?"

"You do that often?"

"Do what often?"

"Ruin a perfectly magical moment by wrongfully accusing the–"

"Oh, shut up."

They shared a laugh followed by complete silence until Ezra spoke up again, reassuring her that it was in fact not a line, but a genuine declaration of what he felt at the moment and what he felt about her; although he had not meant it to sound so theatrical...but after all, what power does one have over a heart that had just found love?

"Fine...while we are being disgustingly honest here-" said Aria. They began to walk again, with her leading the way. "I had been eyeing you across the room during the presentation." She said shyly, making him smile to himself. "I thought you looked familiar."

"I've been told to have a very generic face." Ezra said and shrugged lightly.

"No, you don't and that's not it. For a second, I–" She said but paused. "Never mind."

"Well, thank you. I didn't think I had a generic face, I mean..." He touched his jaw lightly. "My features are fairly above average especially at a certain angle and light–" He said, making her laugh once again.

"Do you want to get coffee?" She said, cutting in.

Ezra looked at her, perplexed for a second then answered her question with a simple nod.

They entered the empty coffee shop, sounding the chimes above the door. It was dark and cozy and as Ezra would soon learn, it was hers or at least half of hers. Aria co-owned the place with a man named Riley who was supposedly an old friend from college. Ezra wondered who Riley really was and what Aria was to him and he to her besides "old friends". But as they walked farther into the shop, Ezra no longer felt threatened by the thought of the ominous and faceless old friend Riley. All he could think about was her and how some locks of her hair would swing side by side, giving the appearance that everything about her, in her worked in perfect synchronization, that even to the tiniest detail of each step she took would make her hair dance along too. She was a piece of art, Ezra thought.

"Well, I feel like an idiot." He said as Aria turned the lights on.

"Why?"

Shaking his head, he chuckled to himself. "I mean, why go to your place for coffee when you clearly have your own coffee shop?"

She tilted her head at him and asked, "And why were you under the impression that I was gonna invite you back to my place?"

"Because you kissed me."

"I did...and so did you."

"Right...so was it just a matter of who invited who first?" He looked at her intently now. "No big deal. We have all the time in the world."

"We like to think we do." She said.

"Don't you agree?"

Aria smiled and headed for the counter, preparing the brewing machine.

They sat on the couch, with her legs resting comfortably on his thighs as he listened to her fully, one hand wrapped around his coffee mug and the other absentmindedly on top of her leg. He had surrendered in pointing out and making a subject of their comfort with one another but instead, he lived in it and loved it by the second. It was as if they had known each other their whole lives and sat together like old lovers rekindling an old fire.

"But do you even serve tea?" He said.

Aria laughed and said, "Of course we do. It'd be kinda silly for us not to."

"I thought so too." said Ezra. They remained in silence for a moment, taking in their glances and wondering what each meant.

Sighing, Aria shook her head. "It's a silly name for a coffee shop...now thinking about it."

"No, no, it's...fitting."

"Limiting, you mean."

"_Tea of Life_." He said, thinking it over. "No, I like it. It has its quirk."

"You're just being nice."

"I'm always nice. I have no reason to be nasty to anyone. Especially not to you." He told her as she smiled softly. "Anyway, I thought we were having coffee."

"We are."

"_You're_ having wine."

"You're having coffee."

"A different kind of warm, huh?" He said and smiled. "So, what else do you do besides giving people their caffeine fix from time to time?"

"Nothing heroic if that's what you're thinking. Enough about me." She moved, curling her legs back and leaning over to the table in front of them, putting her glass of wine there. "Your turn." She said.

"Like you, I am also not heroic. Just a plain teacher at a plain public school."

"That sounds pretty heroic to me."

"Heroic would be letting that guy inside for a hot cup of coffee or wine...whichever he'd prefer." He said and gestured at the front door.

"What?" She turned around and saw the man standing in front of the door. His face was pressed against the glass door, peering in.

"Do you want me to tell him we're closed?"

"No, no, it's fine. I got it. I was planning to replace my glass for coffee anyway, so you'd stop being such a pain about it." She said with a smile as she took her drink on the table. "I'll talk to him-might be someone I know." Aria said with a shrug and ambled away. Ezra followed her with his eyes as she reached the door.

The man turned around and leaned against the glass door until Aria knocked on it, noticing the trace his wet clothes made on the door.

She opened the door and asked, "Are you okay, mister?"

"Aria?" He said, turning around. "Aria Montgomery..."

"Yes? Can I help you?" Aria furrowed her brow, studying the man's face. He sported a full beard, his bleak blue eyes were deep and tired, and wet disheveled hair hung low just above his eyebrows. Letting out a gasp, Aria dropped the wine glass which shattered into pieces and she whispered, "But..." She glanced back and saw Ezra approaching.

"What's going on? Are you okay?" Ezra asked, placing his hand gently on the small of her back. Then he took a good look at the bearded man and froze in disbelief.

"Please don't be alarmed." The bearded man said. "I–I can try to explain but I can't guarantee it will all make sense. I still find it hard to believe myself."

Aria placed a fresh cup of coffee on the table in front of him as he looked up at her with a faint smile. All the while, Ezra sat across from him and watched in disbelief.

"Thank you." The bearded man said and gazed at her.

"Sure." said Aria as she took a seat beside Ezra and began to stare along with him. They sat there in silence for a long, uncomfortable moment. The bearded man took a few quiet sips of hot brewed coffee while Aria and Ezra exchanged glances before studying the man once again.

Pulling the blanket over his shoulders, the man looked back at them. "It's really you, isn't it?" He finally said, looking intently at Aria.

Ezra furrowed his brow and disliked how the man looked at her. He had no clear reason why he had disliked it. It was not a look of carnal lust, or as if the man was undressing her with his eyes; it was a pure look of affection and the longer Ezra fixed his eyes on the man, he had realized that he was jealous of how the man looked at Aria, for Ezra had wanted to look at Aria the same way too –_ in love_. And as the thought lingered on, Ezra disliked even more the idea that this stranger before him had already all these reasons and stories as to why he was looking at Aria in such way.

"This has to be a prank, right? A very well done prank, by the way." said Aria as she looked back and forth at them.

"I'm not much for high jinks." Ezra said rather seriously.

"Sure, of course not." She said sarcastically. They sat there quietly again until Aria spoke up, growing impatient for an explanation. She got up and crossed her arms above her chest and demanded this time for the explanation that was promised to her.

"I'm sorry. I just...I don't know where to begin." The bearded man said.

"How about a name? That seems like a good start, huh?" said Ezra as he glanced up at Aria who gave him a small nod.

"You already know who I am."

"I really do not know who the hell you are, man."

"Isn't it obvious?"

Aria threw her hands out of frustration and said, "Listen, both of you-" She sighed. "You got me, alright? But you know, it's been a long day and this has been really interesting at first and I've been really nice and tolerant as far as I know but to be frank, I'm no longer in the mood for this so please kindly leave my shop."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait-" Ezra got up and faced her and whispered, "I promise, I have nothing to do with this, Aria. I know just as much as you." He locked his eyes with hers, making sure that she was listening to him and that she was convinced. "Besides, why would I throw away a seemingly nice, friendly night with you? And for what? A stupid prank?" said Ezra.

They looked at each other for a moment before the other man who remained seated on the couch cleared his throat and simply said that Ezra was telling the truth.

"I'm sorry-" Aria moved away from Ezra, shook her head and said, "But please leave..."

"Aria..." Ezra took a step closer.

"_Please!_" She said, scaring herself with her own voice. "Please go. I need both of you to get out."

The bearded man stood up and approached her with his hand extended in front of him in an attempt to comfort her but Ezra pushed him.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Huh?!" Ezra said to him, pushing him back once again. The man staggered on his feet, stumbling over the coffee table behind him.

"Ezra!" Aria widened her eyes and grabbed his arm, pulling him back.

"Why don't you tell me who you are?" Ezra said, looking down at the man who was now on the floor, bewildered.

"My name is Ezra Fitz! Alright? I-I'm a thirty year old English teacher at St. Carmel's. Dianne Fitz-Fitzgerald, she's my mother and I had...I had a younger brother named Wes who-" He suddenly stopped as soon as he saw Ezra's face and how it changed at the mention of his brother's name. "I'm sorry, I-"

"Enough-" Ezra said while the word seemed to refuse to leave his mouth. He clenched his fists and swallowed hard.

"Don't you get it?" The man said as he breathed heavily. "I'm _you_." As he began to sit up, he noticed that his hands were starting to disappear. "No, no, no, no." He said to himself as his hands were now completely transparent and after a few seconds, they were gone.

"What's happening?" Aria said, taking notice too. "Ezra?" She looked up at Ezra who was miles away.

Aria went back to the bearded man and saw that he was slowly disappearing from the bottom up. All the while, the man gazed at her, looking at her painfully, apologizing through his eyes for what he had brought to her. She nodded at him and forced a smile. Right there and then, he knew that she believed him completely.

"Aria-" He began to say.

"No, wait-" She began to say before he had disappeared into thin air.

Ezra rubbed his jaw and drew out a breath. She turned to him, puzzled by what had just taken place. "I should go." Ezra said and gave her a kiss on the forehead and quickly headed out while she stood there, too dumbfounded to respond.

"Great..." She finally said. "Two guys just pulled the disappearing act on you on the same night. That might be a new record, Aria."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone. Thank you for those who took the time to review, it really means a lot. If you have any questions, I can answer it here so just tell me. Someone asked if this was going to be like The Time Traveler's Wife...and the answer is no, the only similarity these two have is the time-traveling element. Story wise, they are very different. **

**Thanks again for reading and tell me what you think. :)**

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**June, 2014**

"Yeah, there's a dude looking for you." Riley said, tapping the counter to get her attention.

"Be right there." said Aria as she finished off drying a coffee mug. She then dried her hands on her apron and took it off, placed it on the stool and went around the counter. Looking straight across the room, she spotted a clean shaven Ezra who had looked back at her just in time. He gave an uncertain smile and walked in her direction while she immediately returned back to her counter.

"Hello." Ezra said and watched her fiddle with the brewing machine. "I didn't properly say goodbye the other night."

"So you came back here to say it now?" Aria said, not bothering to look at him.

"You told me to leave." He said and in response, Aria shot him an icy look causing him to recoil. "I didn't want to say goodbye."

"Well, why did you?"

"I...I don't know. That night was very chaotic for me." He moved to the other side of the counter. "I don't know why I left."

"That's too bad." said Aria as she poured coffee into a mug. "Well, as you can see I'm busy right now so maybe you can come back when you figure out why you did what you did."

He placed his hands on the counter and whispered to her. "I'm sorry. I'm very, very, very sorry. I really am, Aria."

"I'm working."

"Could we maybe have dinner after you've finished working then?"

"Which one are you really anyway?" She squinted at him.

"W-What? What do you mean?"

"Are you–" She gestured at his chin. "Did you shave?"

"No, no! I'm not the..." He shook his head and thought for a moment how he would differentiate himself from well...himself. "I'm the waffle maker guy." He said, feeling pathetic.

"So you believe him." She said with her arms crossed.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since."

Leaning in over the counter, Aria said, "Maybe we had too much to drink that night and none of it actually ever happened, right?" She chuckled and he was glad to hear her laugh. It had reassured him that she was fine with him now and with what had happened then. At least he liked to believed so.

"Maybe...although you're forgetting one thing. I had coffee. You had wine." He pointed out.

"You are _never_ gonna let that go are you?"

Ezra laughed softly. "Dinner? After you get out of this place?" He asked and saw her let out a small sigh.

"Okay." She handed him a cup of coffee. "It's on the house."

"What for?"

She shrugged. "I didn't know what else to do while you were talking." Aria said, making him laugh wholeheartedly. "I have a question."

"Okay." Ezra said.

"If we were to see...him again, what–how do we address him? You see, I couldn't sleep last night because all I kept thinking about was how big of a mess it would be if you two were in the same room ever again." She said.

"Well, I'm hoping we don't see him again but I have feeling he's gonna try and find a way to shove himself into our lives, but–" He paused for a second. "We'll call him Fitz. How's that?"

"Don't want to stray too far away from the truth, huh?" said Aria with a wry smile.

**January, 2004**

Ezra thumbed through a hard cover book, hoping to find any viable information on his anomaly, as he called it, assuming that was what a doctor would call it too. He did not expect to find immediate answers, in fact he was not even sure at all if he would even find an answer but he had to try. If there were no books to anatomically and biologically explain what was happening to him, he still wanted to hope that something would at the very least theoretically teach him how to control it. He wondered if it was just a matter of time, that eventually he would get the hang of it. Ezra noticed however that whenever his emotions were heightened, his hands which from his observation would always be the first to go, that he would begin to turn transparent until he was completely erased.

Placing the unhelpful book back on the shelf, Ezra moved onto the other ones. From the other side, he heard a man's laughter that was hauntingly familiar to his ears. He peeked through the small gap between the books and saw his younger self engaged in a playful conversation with a young woman who would soon break his heart at the end of the semester. It was unmistakably Ezra in his second year of college. He remembered the thick unkempt hair and that awful bulky sweater he always wore, and the young woman who had disregarded him for an upperclassman.

Widening his eyes, Ezra turned around in one quick motion and rushed for the opposite direction, glancing back to catch one last glimpse of his young, naive self.

**June 2014**

"How does it feel knowing you have another you running around right this very moment?" She asked.

"He's not me."

Aria cocked an eyebrow and smirked, finding his denial amusing. "Shall I start calling you the omnipresent Ezra Fitz?"

He sighed and reached for the glass of water in front of him. "You're really getting a kick out of this, aren't you?"

"How can I not? Two very–" She stopped herself.

"Very what?"

"Nothing, forget it." She said and motioned her fingers to her mouth, zipping it.

"No, what were you gonna say?" He smiled crookedly.

Aria rolled her eyes and leaned closer. "Two very dumb-looking men jumping through time, confused and whatnot."

"That wasn't what you were going to say, you coward." He grimaced as he felt her kick his shin under the table.

"Don't ever call me a coward." She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Well, you are." He shot her a glare once he felt her kicking him again. "Stop it." He said in a whisper.

Aria got up, throwing the napkin on the table.

"Whoa, wait, wait-" He furrowed his brow and went after her. "I didn't know we were suddenly being serious." said Ezra while Aria turned around and looked at him quietly. "You confuse me, you know that?" He said to her.

"Says the time traveling man."

He hung his head low and said, "He's not me. He can't be me. I've been here all day, living in the same year. I haven't gone any...when."

The car pulled over just a short walk away from Aria's apartment building. The night was calm and lulling. Nothing universally significant had happened throughout the day, only the mystery that Aria and Ezra shared now. And it was nice sharing a new secret with someone you knew you were going to love. Ezra was expecting that their night would end here as any normal dates would and he was not bitter about it although he had a desire to talk to her a little longer and know her more, and see her face in the midst of everything. All things in moderation, he would remind himself. But he did not want to have just enough, he wanted to be drunk in her.

For a moment, he believed that she had felt the same too. They sat there as the engine quietened down to a small hum.

"It's all very strange, isn't it?" He began to say, turning his face to her.

"Yeah, tell me about it." She let out a breath. "Here I was thinking I'd finally have a normal life and meet a normal guy and have normal sex, but apparently not."

"We can still have normal sex. Just say when." said Ezra. Listening to her laughter, he smiled and asked, "Has your life always been strange then?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because you said finally."

"Well...no." She shook her head and said, "Life has been pretty normal for the past few of years."

"And in reality, I suppose you prefer things to stay that way?"

Aria looked at him deeply and shook her head. "No. I could use strange."

She moved her hand near him and he leaned it, gently holding her chin and pulling her in for a soft kiss. Smiling, she kept her eyes closed as their lips remained touching. It was a feeling that reminded her of going to bed exhausted, happily aware and excited that she was going to fall asleep in an instant and live in incomparable dreams, even if it was just for a little while.

When she entered her apartment, she could hear the faint jingling sound growing closer and closer. Aria grinned and bent down as Benham the Beagle approached her. Benham moved slowly from old age, his body waddling from time to time but his tail still wagged excitedly like it did the first time they met ten years ago. The truth was, Benham was so old that leaving him home alone was no longer a concern. He slept most of the times and enjoyed the comfort of his wooden doghouse that Aria's father and younger brother helped make years ago. It took hard effort for the dog to bark, and so whenever he did, Aria knew there was a reason for it.

"Hi there, my sweet fella." said Aria as she petted him gently and gave the top of his head a light peck. "What'd you do all day, huh? Let me guess, sleep and eat and sleep again, hmm?" She smiled as she hugged Benham before straightening herself up. "C'mon, I'll make you something before bed. You'd like that, wouldn't you? You're getting a little fat, you know? I spoil you." She said, reminding herself that she needed to take him out for a walk more often.

Aria headed to the kitchen as Benham stayed in the living room, curling himself near a round dog bed just outside his doghouse. A moment later, Aria could hear glass shattering followed by Benham's loud barking. Rushing to the living room, she saw her coffee table in pieces and Benham barking at the bearded man on the floor.

"Shh, Benham, go to your spot." She said as Benham continued to bark. "Benham!" She repeated as Benham abruptly stopped and retreated to his bed with his tail between his legs.

Aria stepped carefully around the broken glass and saw that it was in fact the same bearded man from the coffee shop a while ago, only this time he was unconscious. She picked some shards near his head and tossed them aside.

"Fitz?" asked Aria quietly as she placed her fingers against his neck. Feeling for his pulse, she felt his warm neck and looked down and saw blood trickling down his forearm. Getting up, Aria gave Benham a warning look and commanded him to stay put. She ran to the kitchen and came back to him with a wet towel and gasped when she saw Benham licking Ezra's injured arm.

"No! Benham! Bad dog! Bed. Now." She shooed Benham with the towel and shook her head as the dog returned to his spot. Then she tended to Ezra, cleaning his arm then tying the towel tightly around his arm in attempt to stop the bleeding.

Aria watched as she sat back, pressing her back against the couch. She noticed how his eyes which hid behind his closed eyelids moved from side to side, making her wonder what he was dreaming about. This Ezra seemed to always look exhausted and all Aria wanted to do was to release him from whatever was dragging him down. He stayed unconscious for a few minutes, his breathing steady and his eyes no longer moving. A moment later, Aria moved back as Ezra woke up, gasping for breath. His eyes looked alarmed and he took a few seconds to register where he was before noticing the shards all over the place.

"Please tell me I didn't do that."

Aria moved a bit closer to him. "Uh, I didn't see but I'm guessing you fell on my coffee table." said Aria as she watched Ezra sit up.

"I'm so sorry. Have I been out long?"

"Don't worry about it. And no, about three minutes. Are you okay? Maybe we should get you checked out."

"No, no. I'm fine, really. This rarely happens."

Aria furrowed her brow at him and said, "This as in?"

"I usually get soft landings." He smiled a bit and looked at her quietly for a moment. "You called me Fitz."

"I did."

"Why?"

"He and I decided we'd call you that."

"I don't get a say in this?"

"Well, technically, you _were_ the one who came up with the idea."

"Fair enough." He said and finally stood up, letting out a faint groan.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"I could use a glass of water, if that's alright with you."

"Sure, no problem. I'll be right back." Aria nodded and immediately left the room. Turning around, Ezra spotted Benham sitting quietly on his bed, weakly wagging his tail. He smiled at the dog and approached him confidently.

"Benham, huh?" He reached and began to pet him. He smiled at the sensation of Benham's soft fur and the longer he stared, the more he noticed how much Benham had changed. "You've aged, pal." said Ezra as he looked at the dog somberly.

**January, 2004**

As Ezra rushed out of the library to avoid his young self, his eyes immediately fell upon a crowd of people on the sidewalk and a car parked near the curb. He furrowed his brow curiously and walked to the scene. Seeing their concerned faces, he knew that something horrible had happened. As he got closer to the crowd, he saw a small dog lying on the ground in front of the car bumper.

"It's alright, give us some space please." One of the passers-by said as he approached the dog.

Ezra looked on and arched his brow, realizing that the man was Byron Montgomery. He watched on as Byron took out his phone and dialed a number. He stepped closer, trying to listen to Byron's words and all Ezra picked up was something about being on Benham street. Ezra tried to listen more before he ducked instinctively when he saw young Aria getting out of the car.

"You're kidding me." He said under his breath.

"No, man. It happens. There are sick, twisted people everywhere you go, y'know?" said the man standing beside him.

Ezra glanced at the man before looking once again at Aria who was now walking to see what her father was so worried about.

"What happened here?" asked Ezra as he moved carefully, hiding his face in the crowd.

"Someone just left this dog out here, I think."

"What's that man on the phone doing?"

"Says he's a vet."

Ezra nodded understandingly as he kept his eyes on Aria. She stood on the other side of the car and finally saw the injured dog just a feet away from Byron. Ezra could hear a shocked cry coming from her as she ran to the dog. Byron gestured with his hand, telling young Aria not to touch the dog. Swallowing hard, Ezra looked around and decided that it was time to leave, hoping to find a quiet place as his hands began to disappear.

**June, 2014**

"He's an old man now, isn't he?" Ezra pointed out as he continued to pet Benham.

"He just turned 16." She said with a bittersweet smile, knowing that Benham was in fact getting extremely old and that a day will come that she will come home without Benham there to greet her. She tried her best not to think about it but it was always there in the back of her mind like a ticking clock counting down to the appointed time.

Ezra raised his eyebrows, impressed. "He was fortunate that day."

"What day?"

"When you and your father picked him up-"

"How did you know about that?" She said with a cocked eyebrow.

"Because-" Ezra got up and sat on the couch with her and looked at her square in the eyes as if one look would explain everything, but she stared at him patiently waiting, almost forgetting of his capability for a second.

"Right. Is that where you came from before crashing onto my table?" She asked jokingly but saw him nodding seriously. "We were all lucky that day."

"He's very lucky to have you." He licked his lips, gazing at her. "Anyone's lucky to have you."

Aria tore her eyes away from his and touched his forearm where the cloth covered his cut and felt it, nervously brushing over it with her fingertips. She thought for a moment about the other him and wondered how he would feel, knowing that she was touching this Ezra in this way, listening to him say words that she imagined Ezra would say to her too. But above all, she wanted to know if this was wrong.

"Is this appropriate?" She asked, catching him off guard. "Say we did something...would it be possible for me to cheat on you...with you? It's just very confusing for me. The rules to this, I mean. This might come off as a surprise but I have to admit, I haven't dealt with this kind of situation before."

Ezra chuckled and looked at her quietly for a moment. "Well, he and I are the same person. So, I'd like to think that whatever you do to me, you do to him. I think you're in the clear."

"Good." Aria said and without letting a second pass, she had leaned in and kissed him deeply.

Softly sighing into her lips, Ezra held her face as she moved up and straddled him with her legs. He sank deeper into the couch and ran his fingers through her hair. He pulled back and gazed at her, not realizing how much he had missed the taste of her soft lips until this very moment.

"What?" said Aria.

Ezra shook his head and gave her a smile. "I just hope I get to stay the night."

"I hope so too. I don't want you to go yet." said Aria before kissing him once more.

"What happens if I do?" He said against her lips.

"Then you'll have to take me with you."

"And if I can't?"

Pulling away, she looked at him and said, "Life goes on."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone. Thank you for sticking with me and reading again. **

_Someone asked: Is bearded Ezra from the future or does he just stays always traveling in the time? And what about present ezra, does he travels too? _

_Answer: Bearded Ezra came specifically from January 2015. He jumps from January 2015 to random times in the past, however he does not travel past January 2015. For the second part, present Ezra does not travel...yet. _

**_Here's a new chapter. Would love to hear what you think! _**

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**June, 2014**

It was like a series of photographs flashing before his eyes while he remained unconscious; snapshots of moments that had taken place just before he would disappear. It was a small help considering the trouble it caused him. Ezra Fitz saw that things were calmer now and that he had not traveled for four consecutive days, but that was not enough for him to go out for a walk in the park.

He stayed in, as Aria advised him to, in fear that he would bump into himself or his friends. Ezra did not protest although he did not understand why they should be concerned with him bumping into anyone he knew. He did not come from the past. Anything his current self knew now, as logical would serve, Ezra knew as well and more. But he did not argue with her; first because he preferred to stay in, for it avoided the risk of disappearing into thin air in front of strangers. And second because he had loved her long enough to know that seeing her unhappy was a sight he never wanted to see again. He continued to learn that love did wonders to people. That a loving mother would rather answer for the pain an illness can cause than to see her child suffer from it. And that any man who was terribly, sincerely in love with a woman would bargain his own happiness for her unhappiness. And in the end, this very act of exchange would somehow bring both to contentment. Ezra did not fully understand yet why that was, all he knew was it worked the way it always did.

The sun shone through the windows as Ezra sat on the small ledge and stared at the disheveled bed where Aria slept soundly. He asked himself why he was here, reliving this time again. Could it be that he was just meant to cherish this moment in a way he had not the first time? Or did life have a bigger plan for him? For her?

Only when the sunlight began to leave the room did Aria rouse herself. She tossed to the side and saw Ezra looking quietly at her, smiling that same smile he had been giving her every morning for the past couple of days, as if to say he had not left her side.

As she smiled back, Aria reached down on the floor to grab her shirt then she looked up and found herself staring at the same spot where he stood and saw nothing but a closed window. It was like waking up from a dream you did not want to end just yet. And just like that, the dream would be gone and you find yourself wishing for a little more time although knowing that it was never going to be granted and yet for some reason, you keep trying.

"Thanks, Riles." said Aria as she took a cup of coffee.

"Hey, almost forgot—that same guy came by here yesterday looking for you. He said to give him a call?"

"Ezra?"

Riley gave a shrug and said, "Beats me. You know, if you don't like the guy, quit avoiding him and tell him the truth….otherwise that poor fella is just gonna keep coming by here and ask about you. And I don't plan on bonding with him through that."

"I'm not avoiding him. I've just been busy with other things."

"What other things could you possibly be busy about besides being a dick?"

Aria rolled her eyes and said, "Things that aren't your business."

"You are coming back on Monday, right?"

Nodding, Aria turned to leave as she reached for her phone to call Ezra as she had always meant to for the past few days. She hated the fact that Riley was partially right. The least she could have done was return Ezra's calls. But the idea left an uneasy feeling in her stomach and she had never truly been a good liar. The only way she could lie was by simply avoiding any situation that would force her to tell anything but the truth, but even that was technically not considered lying to someone else's standards.

The ringing continued and Aria almost wished that it would go straight to voicemail, but at the very last ring Ezra picked up and answered with a 'hello'.

"Hey there." said Aria as casually as possible.

"I almost believed you traveled back in time where phones didn't exist yet."

Aria sighed and apologized and said, "I've been distracted."

"By what?" He asked then paused and said reluctantly, "Or should I say by whom?"

"What? Nobody." She said quickly.

"How fast you answered that question is almost relative to how untrue it is." He said. There was a long silence between the line. "Aria, what's going on?" He asked but received only the continuous silence. "You've given up, haven't you? On me, that whole mess with that—"

Finally reaching her car, she got in and let out a heavy sigh. "No…that's not it at all."

"Then what is it? Is it…that guy?"

"Can you come by my place tonight?"

"Just tell me when."

"I'll call you?" She said, waiting for his response. After a long pause, she finally heard him answer her question with an okay. "I'll see you soon, Ezra." said Aria as Ezra responded with his own goodbye, and she swore she could his heart break into a million pieces over the phone. Sighing, Aria pressed her forehead against the steering wheel and cursed herself.

**January, 2015**

Ezra patted his hands together as he stood up from the cold ground. The clouds loomed over the snow capped Evergreens, covering the sunshine. From a fair distance, he saw the two figures by the shore in which triggered a memory before his eyes.

"No…" Ezra said under his breath but kept his eyes fixed on them. As his memories would serve him, Ezra realized that this was the first time he ever saw himself fall apart. There she was, lifeless and gone, consuming the man who held her, causing him a great deal of damage from which he could never recover. He knelt over her until he too was gone.

Ezra furrowed his brow, took a glance around and started to run to her until he was caught up by his own glitch and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor in an empty lobby.

**June, 2014**

When they finally met he had given her a small kiss on the cheek as he stepped into her apartment and she had felt awful for being unusually demure while he was so enthused in seeing her again. Her façade was the cause of uneasiness. Aria had imagined how he would react when she would tell him that she had gone to bed with the other him. She wanted to tell him right away, to avoid any other things that would distract her from her main objective and so she would not feel even more guilty the longer she held it in while he stood there, being the kind man he always was to her. They went into the living room and Aria began to say the things she planned to say.

"You slept with him?" Ezra asked as he began to pace.

"I didn't think it mattered. You and I weren't together, were we?"

"I know we're not together!" He said, throwing a hand out but he then quickly recollected his composure. "And I know I have no right to be heartbroken over this right now, but dammit, I am."

"I don't know what to tell you." She said as she sat down and buried her face in her hands. "I'm just very…I don't know. One second, everything's clear then two seconds later, nothing is making any sense."

"You're confused about what? Having two of us? You choose one and you love one. That's all there is to it."

"I choose him." She said, looking up at him.

Taken aback by her blunt answer, Ezra exhaled sharply and said, "I see—"

"Which means I also choose you."

"It doesn't work like that, Aria."

"Yes, it does!" She shouted as she got up from the couch and walked up to him, "He's you. You're him._Time_ is the only thing that's separating you. Why can't you accept that?"

"Because I haven't had the chance to know why I fall in love with you! He has! He's felt everything I have yet to feel about you." He said as his chest heaved. "That's our difference. That's what matters." He stared at her as she furrowed her brow at him.

"Why do you have to know why you fall in love with me?" She asked, offended. "Nobody falls in love and asks why."

"That wasn't the point I was trying to make."

"Then tell me what it is you do mean."

"What does it matter? Maybe he can tell you, _if_ he comes back. It seemed you two were getting along a lot better than you and I ever did." He said angrily and began to walk away.

"Ezra, wait–" She went after him. "Please wait–" said Aria as she caught his hand before he could reach the door.

Finally looking back, Ezra sighed. "If you have him then what is the point of me?" He said as he waited for a response but she only looked at him quietly. Shaking his head, Ezra gently pulled his hand away from her and left.

When Ezra got out of the building, he spotted Fitz and as soon as they exchanged glances, Fitz began to follow him. Ezra could hear the man's footsteps just behind him and no sound had irritated him as much as the sound of the man's shoes hitting the pavement.

"Get away from me, man." Ezra warned as he took the car keys out of his pockets, fumbling over it out of haste.

"What did you do?" Fitz walked up to him and gave him a slight shove.

"I said get away from me!" shouted Ezra as he approached the man he refused to call himself and in the spur of the moment, Ezra grabbed Fitz from the collar and shoved him as hard as he could, pushing him hard on the ground where he fell flat and hit his side against the curb. "Why can't you just go away and leave me the hell alone?!"

"Please–" Fitz said and groaned as he held his side and sat up, "Just please go back to her."

"Why? So you can keep existing? Is that it? Is that what you want? So you can sleep with her how many times you want?"

"I'll still exist even if I'm not with her. But I'm telling you right now, you don't want that."

"To hell with you." Ezra said as he got in his car. As he started the engine, he heard a loud bang from the back and saw Fitz kicking the car repeatedly, frustratedly. Ezra quickly got out of the car and watched as Fitz gave his car another kick.

"Gah!" Fitz groaned painfully, holding his side tighter and it seemed to hurt the more he moved. Then he looked up at Ezra and said, "You'll lose her and you'll regret it." He inhaled sharply. "I still do."

Ezra looked long and hard at the bearded man and noticed that his fingers were beginning to become transparent. As soon as he realized what was happening to him, Ezra heard Fitz let out a frustrated yell and watched him hide behind the car.

"What happens to her?" Ezra asked as he walked cautiously to Fitz.

"You'll see, won't you? If you keep ignoring what I say."

"No, no, don't–" He said and stood before him, "Tell me."

He slowly sat down, seething in pain as he held at his side. "I think you fractured one of my ribs."

"Tell me. Please tell me." said Ezra as he reached to grab him only to have wind slip through his fingers.

Fitz rolled over and groaned, his hand still holding his side. Pulling himself up, he sat on the couch and rested for a minute before the lights turned on and he turned his head to see Aria curiously looking over at where he sat.

"What happened to you?" She asked as she rushed to his side.

"I was being an idiot." Fitz said and felt almost too proud of himself for jabbing at his younger self, and he wished Ezra was there to hear it.

"I'll get some ice." She said but Fitz held her hand, stopping her from going anywhere else.

"I'm okay. Really." He looked at her from head to toe and asked, "What time is it?"

"It's the middle of the night." She had said but he had given her an unconvinced look. "It's…June…2014." She added. "It's the present?"

"Oh."

"Why?"

He shook his head dismissively and said, "It's just that you're wearing my shirt. I assumed it was fall."

"Is that when we got together for good?" She asked and then saw him nod. "Guess we couldn't wait." said Aria with a smile. Then she studied him for a moment then sat down beside him, placing her head on his shoulder. She took his hand and intertwined her fingers with his and thanked him.

"For what?"

"For talking to him."

"What makes you think I talked to him?" Fitz said as he felt her lifting her head to look up at him so he returned her look. "Did he apologize at least?" He asked, looking worried.

She nodded and placed her head back to its previous spot. "He said he didn't want to wake up one day and ask why."

Sighing, Fitz shifted his head a bit and kissed the top of her head and said, "Well, I don't."


	4. Chapter 4

**Been a while, but here's a new chapter. Someone said she liked Fitz more than Ezra and I found it amusing that someone liked Ezra more than that Ezra. Thanks for those who reviewed. I like to see who reads this.**

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**June, 2014**

Fitz awoke to the cold touch of Aria's hand that brushed against his side as she remained asleep with her head resting on his abdomen. Just before they drifted off to sleep, she had slipped her hand inside his shirt and he could vaguely remember the reason for it. But as he moved up a bit, the pain at his side reminded him why Aria placed her hand on the particular spot. Without wanting to move another inch, Fitz glanced down and watched her breathe steadily.

He tried to recall how she looked like when he first knew her without the present complications. She looked the same, of course, as this was her first present but Fitz had yet to grasp the idea completely. Time was now an abstraction to him and upon realization, it was no longer a singular notion. Time became more like a house with many rooms, with each door opening to a different event, a different memory. And he was thrown in every room while ordinary people had not the opportunity to leave the room they were in. It also soon became a fact that time was merely a law we had created for ourselves; a law in which limited us. Some other living things did not care for punctuality; they had no regards for dates or minutes, only when the sun would rise and when it set. But very few realized that sometimes knowing and having a limit was what made them superior, for there were some who were not wise enough to know when to go and when to stop thus becoming their own downfall.

Bringing his hand to her face, Fitz brushed his thumb over her cheek and ran his other hand through her hair and closed his eyes and began to think back to the time when everything was simple.

_It was the third week of November and Ezra and Aria spent half the day in her apartment after spending the night out for her birthday. However, her birthday was not actually until the day after tomorrow, and her parents had informed her that they will be throwing her a party–which was only to be specifically composed of close friends and of course, her relatives, at a rented cottage. And Aria, bothered by Ezra's hair, wanted to badly groom it before he would get to meet her parents. With very little trust, Ezra gave in after negotiating a sweet deal on his part._

_"Don't move." She said as she stood in front of him, eyeing his fringe. Ezra looked at her lips and leaned in quickly, sneaking in a kiss before pulling back. Tilting her head, she looked at him. "Ezra..."_

_"What? I can't kiss my own girlfriend?"_

_"Not when she has sharp scissors right in front of his face." said Aria as she ruffled his bangs and snipped a couple of inches then combed it. Then she walked around and began cutting the sides._

_"How long is this gonna take, baby?"_

_"I just have to do the back."_

_"Then we shower?"_

_"Mhm...then you shower."_

_"No, no, that wasn't what we agreed on." He began to turn his head but Aria grabbed it and steadied it, so instead he looked in the mirror in front of him, his eyes on her. "The only reason I'm letting you do this is because you promised we–"_

_"And you promised you'd stop moving, but is that happening? No." Aria looked at him through the mirror and sighed. "Oh alright...but please, please stop moving or this is gonna look horrendous and my parents will never approve a man with bad hair for their lovely daughter." She joked._

_Smiling, he straightened his posture and watched Aria meticulously cut his hair, noticing her lips form into a lovely pout. It was sexy, seeing her so focused and serious over a mundane thing. And he thought about how he could watch her do the most boring tasks, but still find himself encaptured by her every movement. He wondered if that was how people knew they were sincerely in love. Perhaps it was one of the many ways._

Ezra got out of the bathroom while he tucked his wrinkled dress shirt in his trousers, feeling odd without his undershirt. It was almost noon and he only just remembered that he had a workshop class in the next hour. When Ezra entered the living room, he spotted Aria sleeping on the couch by herself and he wondered why she moved there.

"Aria, hey..." He whispered as he gently touched her back and found out where his shirt went. "I have to go. I'm late for something." He said as she let out a faint groan and mumbled something. "Yes...I'm sorry–I'll call you once I'm out and maybe we can do something later if you're not doing anything?"

Finally, Aria opened her eyes and looked at him and mouthed, "Okay."

Ezra smiled and planted a kiss on her temple and left in a hurry.

The graduate program, for those who were trying to earn their master's degree, had offered classes for the summer, and it was an opportunity for him. He had been striving to earn his master's for a couple of years now, and once the program is finished, his plans of moving up on teaching at universities would be all ready to go and soon, he would work hard and earnestly on his writings so that they were good enough to publish and perhaps a tenure would be given after a few years or so.

As he parked the car behind the building, Ezra checked his binder on the passenger seat and got out of the car in a haste. He let out a sharp breath once he spotted a too familiar face walking in his direction.

"What are you doing? You can't go around following me, man." Ezra said, irritated and tensed at the sight of Fitz's scruffy face.

"I didn't mean to." whispered Fitz and Ezra pulled him aside where no one could possibly see them. "I just have a favor to ask." Fitz said.

"You couldn't wait til we find someplace private?"

"I need the key to our apartment."

Ezra laughed dryly and glared at him and said, "_Our_ apartment? You're kidding me, right? Why the hell would I ever–"

"Because I'm gonna give you the answers right now."

"What are you talking about? Answers to what?"

"The material you were supposed to have finished since last week. You have a surprise exam today." Fitz said and glanced around to see if there was anyone around, and luckily, the parking lot remained empty.

"I don't need your help." Ezra said as he began to walk away but Fitz cut in front of him.

"Yes you do because you won't know a thing once you step a foot in that class. Because you didn't study." Fitz pointed out. "Because you were with her last night."

At this moment, Ezra began to feel nervous for what he was being told, and he had a strong, uneasy knot in his stomach telling him that he had to take this chance and no one could be as lucky as him to have his future self travel back in time just to tell him the answers to an exam he was about to take. But why was it that he could not remember what it was he had to study for?

Taking out the keys in his pocket, Ezra huffed a breath and took the house key from the set and looked at Fitz curiously and said, "What are you gonna do there?"

"I need clothes."

Letting out a scoff, Ezra glared at him and asked, "Are you serious? That's it? There's a thrift store nearby."

"And I need to use your computer."

"Well, there's also a place called the library."

"Right. The public library, you mean?"

Ezra pressed his lips together and finally handed the key to him then said, "The answers."

"Answers?" Fitz asked as he began to step back.

"To the exam?"

"There is no exam. You'll be late." said Fitz as he chuckled and shrugged and ran off while Ezra stood on the same spot, clenching his fist.

Aria unfastened the leash around Benham's neck while gently touching the top of his head. Looking up, she saw Riley walking to them with his hands stretched before him with palms up, and his face wrinkled questionably.

"What is this?" He asked as he squatted down to greet Benham.

"_This_ is a dog."

Riley tilted his head at her and said, "I mean, why is Benham in our shop?"

"Thought I'd take him out. Maybe hang around here." She shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe he'll attract more people and they'll want to come in. Did you know cat cafes are a thing? Why not dog cafes, right?" She said as she watched Riley scratching Benham's ears. "He's getting so fat too, being home and all."

"Yeah, well whose fault is that? Right, buddy?" He said as he grinned at the dog, then he patted his hands on his pants and stood up, and said, "I thought it's clinic day. Those dogs might start to forget you."

"Oh...I had to move it to a different day. It's been a busy week." said Aria while she watched Benham walk off and go wherever he pleased.

Riley looked at her skeptically and asked, "Yeah, why is that?"

"Why is what?" She repeated although she had heard him fine the first time.

"Listen, did I do something?" Riley asked and Aria looked at him with her eyebrows arched for she had never seen Riley become so serious in a matter of seconds.

"Of course not. Riles, c'mon, don't be ridiculous."

"Then why are you being so wormy?"

"Wormy?" She laughed.

"You know what I mean."

"I'm not sure I do."

"Seriously, what's going on?"

Aria rolled her eyes and went up to him and held the sides of his face and said, "It's not you. It's me." She gave him a funny look as their faces stayed just inches away, and Riley scrunched his nose at her. "Did I ever tell you you're adorable when you worry?" She added as she pinched his cheeks and walked away.

"I'm adorable all the time, alright?" Riley said after her as he rubbed his cheeks.

His eyes skimmed through the words on the screen as he scrolled down the article: _As Newton's vision of time as an arrow shot, moving in a straight line...The physics of traveling through time is proven to be impossible, as there are many factors such as energy...The paradoxes of traveling through time...Chaos theory...Calamitous consequences._

Fitz sighed, shut the laptop and leaned back on his chair, worn out by what seemed to be a list of pointless readings which were all based on theories while he wanted to find personal anecdotes but it seemed that would be, as the subject of time travel, impossible. It felt as though he would learn more about his condition by watching fictional films. Getting up, he looked around his bedroom and smiled sadly at the empty night stand by his bed. He approached it, letting his fingertip touch the dusty top of the wooden stand.

_"What's this?" He looked at Aria funny as he held a wrapped gift in his hands._

_"Nothing much. Remember Lucas at the party?" She asked as she sat on the edge of his bed._

_"The photographer?"_

_"Mhm." She nodded and watched as Ezra stood in front of her and opened the gift. "He emailed me the pictures he took that night and I thought this one was kinda nice."_

_Ezra stared at the photo of him and Aria wearing birthday hats and drinks in hands, and big smiles. Laughing softly, he looked at Aria and said, "I agree. This one's a keeper." He placed the framed picture on his night stand. "The picture is a keeper too." He added, making her chuckle._

_"Come down here and kiss me." whispered Aria as she reached for his waist. She hooked her fingers around the belt loops of his trousers and drew him closer._

_In return, Ezra cupped the back of her head and leaned down to kiss her, their lips meeting tenderly like the warm nights they had spent tangled in each other, and the lightness of her soft mouth was a feeling he wished he could save for moments that they had to spend apart._

**January, 2015**

Waves crashed onto the shore and washed over his face completely, waking him up in absolute terror and panic. Fitz shot up and got on all fours, coughing up the water he had swallowed. And as his vision cleared, he saw her lying figure just a couple of feet away, and acting on instinct he crawled to her.

"Aria...Aria." He said under his breath as he scooped her up in his arms. "You're fine, you'll be fine..." He whispered as he held her close, pressing his face against hers. He pulled back to look at her; her face was pale, almost transparent, her lips were the shade of light purple and her eyes remained closed, her heart no longer beating. And he looked down at her pale lips, tempted to kiss her one last time–thinking that if only his kiss could bring her back to life. Almost painfully, he kissed her forehead and whispered her promises he was not sure he could keep. He whispered senselessly a declaration, a confession which he had never had the chance to tell her. He loved her and he would continue to love her until his heart was hollow from loving so much.

**June, 2014**

It had always been a nightmare coming back from the shore, and always, he wondered why he kept coming back to the exact moment. It was even all the more reason for him to learn to control his condition, as to avoid ever coming back to that time when he would lose her. Fitz appeared in her bedroom, sitting on her floor as Aria slept in her bed. He stood up and went up to her, and knelt by her bedside and gazed at her face. Suddenly, it seemed as though all things had been forgotten and she was the end of all his heartaches.

He reached for her face, causing her to wake up from his wet touch. Aria looked at him innocently, and Fitz smiled at the sight of her cheeks lifting as she smiled back and said, "You're soaking wet."

"You're very observant." He grinned as she laughed softly and he joined her until their laughter died down and they were simply there in silence, appreciating each other.

"We're back where we started." She said, breaking the silence.

"And where is that?" asked Fitz.

"In between sleep." She answered and Fitz nodded and told her that he was infinitely content to share that with her, even if it did not seem much to anyone else. Aria moved the covers and invited him to bed, and he complied and took off his wet clothes and lay down by her side, facing her.

"What did you do today?" He asked.

"I went out to dinner...with you."

He smiled and asked more, "Yeah? What was it like?"

"Shouldn't you already know?"

"I'd like to hear it from your side this time."

"Alright..." She gave a timid smile then she turned and glanced at the ceiling, trying to recall. "Well, let's see...we had Italian somewhere in Little Italy." She began and faced him again. "I just ordered a salad because I thought pasta was ridiculously too heavy for that kind of dinner. You thought otherwise and ordered whatever your heart desired...which was fettuccine by the way, in case you forgot." Aria said, making him chuckle. "Anyway, we talked about the atmosphere of the restaurant and how it wasn't at all bad, it was actually kinda lovely. They had vines wrapped around the wooden posts and the ceiling and they placed small candles on the tables. And I told you that the waiter looked a little like my brother which then led us to talking about our families, well..._I_ talked about my family and you listened to me talking about my family. Now thinking back, I did most of the talking and I hadn't realized it until you were nearly done with your fettuccine and I was barely finished with my salad." She smiled and continued on. "And after that, you drove me home even though I thought it was a little too early, but I figured you were just trying to be a gentleman and didn't want to impose. Or maybe you weren't feeling too hot after all that pasta. Which one was it?"

"I feel inclined to say the first." Fitz said with a grin. "Is that all?"

Aria shook her head and said, "I haven't gotten to the best part."

"I'm sorry, go on."

"It's okay." She said as she brought up her hand and brushed his hair aside before pulling her hand back. "Then we were just there, sitting in your car as always...and you kissed me...and it didn't linger for very long but I thought how it was simply the nicest kiss I've ever gotten."

"Why is that?"

Pursing her lips to the side, she glanced once again at the ceiling before fixing her eyes on him and said, "Because you kissed me without making me feel like I owed you it." She swallowed hard as Fitz looked at her deeply, with his eyebrows lowered, his mouth slightly pointing downward, and without saying a word because everything she had said made him miss her even more. Licking her lips, she looked at him square in the eyes and asked, "Why do you look at me like that?"

"How do I look at you?" He said almost in a whisper.

"With those mourning eyes." She said and looked at him quietly, and for a moment, she had a feeling she already knew the answer, so she remained in silence while Fitz looked convinced not to give a response.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to." He finally said.

Aria touched his face and said softly, "Listen, you have me now and I have you. Everything else, I have very little care for."


	5. Chapter 5

**I love it when someone leaves an actual quote of the story. It tells me what you guys like.**

**New chapter today. Thank you, the reviewers.**

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**June, 2014**

She pressed her forehead against his and felt his hands caressing her back. Breaths in rhythm. Bodies hidden under crispy sheets. Her soft cheek brushing against his scruff covered jaw. With eyes shut, Aria found his mouth and kissed him deeply as she wrapped her hands around the back of his head. Then suddenly, she could feel a change taking place on her back, the pressure coming from his hands lifted off of her warm skin, and she looked at him and reached behind her, blindly grabbing his arms. Fitz pulled his hands back, allowing her to see that he was fading.

"No...no, no." She breathed out and moved slowly against him and begged. "Don't go, don't go."

Fitz leaned in and went on to kiss her before pulling back to see her face, as she held him tighter as if to stop him from disappearing. "Aria..." He said under his breath and kissed her again while she continued to move on him.

"Stay for a little while. Please try." She said and pulled back and looked at him. "Don't leave me yet."

Shutting his eyes as tightly as possible, Fitz closed his hands, buried his face in her neck and clenched his jaw, and thought of how he badly wanted to stay here in her bed more than anything else in the world right now, with her body wrapped in his. And no other image came to his mind except her face and her naked body and the wrinkled white sheets which entangled them and the passion exuding from their heated skin as they were cloaked by the intimate shadows in the room. He could feel her body moving against his and for a moment, all he could hear was the tempting, soft sounds she was letting out, and how she begged him softly to stay, and the unevenness of her breath, and the noise from the rest of the world seemed to have been drowned out.

Fitz opened his eyes and held the side of her face and saw his hand returning to whole as before, leaving him in a silent astonishment.

"Aria–" He let out as she brought her hand and placed it on top of his, and turned her face to the side, kissing his hand.

_Their laughter excited Benham triggering him to bark playfully and jump at them back and forth, the sand flying up at each jump._

_"Benham!" Aria yelped cheerfully, surprised that the dog had the energy to even play like this again. She thought perhaps that it was the environment that made him feel so lively._

_Ezra grabbed the tennis ball and tossed it, catching Benham's attention. "Go! Go get it, boy!" said Ezra as Benham wagged his tail and watched and waited for the ball to land which was almost a couple of yards away. Benham stood on the same spot and glanced at Ezra and standing next to him was Aria who had burst out laughing, and Ezra looked at her incredulously and said, "Well, this dog just made me feel like an idiot."_

_"He knows exactly what's he's doing. Also, he doesn't think it's worth the effort." Aria said as she wrapped her arm around Ezra's waist. "Don't feel too down about yourself."_

_"He's too smart for his own good."_

_"He's too old to be playing fetch is what it really is." She said before Benham went to fetch the tennis ball, surprising her._

_"I guess he thought it was worth it after all, huh?" said Ezra as they continued to watch old Benham retrieve the ball._

It was late afternoon when Fitz had ultimately left Aria's apartment just as they had finished their lunch which was expectedly spent discussing what had taken place during their lovemaking. Aria insisted on a simple explanation – that badly wanting something to happen will then cause it to happen regardless of its consequence, and she had emphasized the size and the intensity of his desire, declaring that it was the most pivotal factor of controlling his coming and going. She had made the strange occasion sound as common as someone wanting an ice cream in the summer and went as far as to tell Fitz to think about it as a 'self-fulfilling prophecy'. Fitz wanted to believe it but found it hard to, thinking that it could not be possibly that easy; but he remained quiet and let her believed what she wanted to for comfort's sake.

"I was planning to go to the beach next weekend...if you're into that." Aria told Ezra as they walked along the sidewalk while Benham, on a leash, walked in his own pace stopping to sniff the spots that piqued his interest.

"I'm into it." He said and smiled. "As long as it involves you, I'm into whatever."

Aria hit him lightly with the back of her hand and shook her head with a smile, and he pulled her in and kissed the top of her head, and they continued their stroll down the street.

They sat on the wooden bench as Benham curled up beside Aria's feet. It was a clear day, an incredibly hot day too but the frequent breeze had balanced it out. People took advantage of the weather by spending the day thoroughly in the park, taking walks, throwing frisbees, suntanning as they stuck their faces onto their books. Ezra loved the sight. It had reminded him of something simple, and simplicity was a thing that was quickly becoming rare in his life. He thought about his other self and wondered where he was right at the moment, and oddly and surprisingly enough he found himself hoping that Fitz was alright.

"Have you...bumped into him lately?" Ezra asked looking eagerly at her although trying his best not to.

Aria slowly nodded and said, "This morning." She looked up at him, wanting to see his reaction but found a stoic response instead.

"How's he holding up?"

"He's holding up."

"And you?"

Aria shrugged and leaned on him and said, "Still me."

Turning to her, Ezra touched the side of her face and fixed his gaze on her, saying, "I'm glad to hear that, but I just want you to be careful."

"Of what?"

"Of...opening up a giant can of worms–" He swallowed hard and pulled his hand back and continued. "How you're dealing with Fitz, with all of this. Aria, it's...it's bound to have repercussion."

"So, what are you trying to tell me?"

"I just want you to be safe." He answered. "I want you to live a very long and happy life."

"By denying me of you?" She said looking at him deeply.

Licking his lips, Ezra sighed and looked at her long and hard, and finally said, "That's the only way I see it–you leaving this while you still can." He exhaled deeply, almost disappointingly at himself. "Seeing as I can't deny myself of you."

Aria reached for his face, lightly stroking his chin before pressing her lips to his as softly as possible and whispered, "You're cruel."

"How so?" He tilted his head and gave her a tiny, confused smile.

"You want me to leave and yet you say all these things to make me stay." said Aria.

Ezra did not refute her statement for it was the truth. Inside him was a war between the mind and the heart. The mind only caring for logic while the heart survived on feelings. There was no question in his heart that he wanted her and much more, but it was irrational and selfish to keep her if only to lose her within the impending fate, an ending he had yet to know but already placed a faith in.

**March, 2010**

Checking the board, Fitz read the words in red lighting which showed the departure time of the train. He had ten minutes before take off. Beside the track, people stampeded out and for a second, Fitz thought he saw a glimpse his younger self walking along the crowd. Fitz turned around cautiously and glanced at the pool of bodies rushing out of the track, finally spotting Ezra amongst them. He continued to follow Ezra with his eyes until he was out of sight. Fitz wondered where he had come from specifically but had a hunch that he had stopped by to see his mother in Greenwich. Letting out a breath, Fitz then headed down the track. He looked through the windows searching for open seats. Then, as he continued to walk farther down the track, a familiar face flashed on the window inside one of the cars. With hesitance, Fitz paused in his steps and turned around and entered the car where he spotted her face the first time.

Just a few seats down, Fitz looked at her in awe. Aria looked the same except for the short hair she was sporting now. She sat with her parents and talked excitedly with them. But what caught his attention the most was how she carried a sleeping Benham on her lap. He had never seen her in this fashion, so young and more radiant than ever. It was then that he learned that his condition wasn't all bad after all. And while he knew his younger self and how he acted at varied phases, the fact began to sink in– that he never fully knew her stages. After all, they had only known each other for two seasons which was clearly not enough to know someone completely. All he knew was her name, some of her likes and dislikes, and the best of what someone could learn about another within the short span of their being together.

What was even crazier was how their lives had always been intertwined, or so it would seem. He couldn't imagine that while he was reading a book at his favorite coffee shop that she would be down the street having dinner with her family. Or as of now, he could not fathom how she was on a train with her family heading home while his younger self had just got off the other train after coming back from a family visit. It was as if time was pulling all these strings and drew out all its schemes just so he and she could finally meet and have the universe together.

Fitz sat on the two-seater seat and watched her from a distance until a few moments later, he noticed his fading hand. Hurriedly, he got up and headed to the bathroom and eventually disappeared, leaving the lock on occupied.

**June, 2014**

Ezra left a trail of kisses down her neck and smiled when he saw her smiling to herself. Then he took a few steps forward, forcing her to step backwards until her back hit the wall. He lifted her up and carried her to the closest counter he could find and put her down and continued to plant kisses on her neck as she leaned her head back, exposing her neck to every vulnerability while keeping her hands around the back of his head.

A moment later, someone knocked on the door but it wasn't until the third knock that Aria finally caught the sound. She put her hands on Ezra's chest and stopped him for a moment.

"What is it?" He asked as he looked at her with furrowed brow.

"I think someone's outside my apartment."

"Would you like me to get it?"

Aria thought for a moment and shook her head and told him that she would rather answer it herself. As she fixed her clothes, she got off the counter as Ezra licked his lips and watched her go.

When she answered the door, Fitz stood patiently and flashed a crooked, timid smile at her. They had been separated for almost a whole day although to her, it had not felt like it as she was with him the whole time, only it was a different him. She would have to get used to this feeling and learn how to hide it.

"Hey." Aria had managed to let out before clearing her throat while he stepped closer and kissed her on the cheek.

Pulling back, he studied her for a second and asked, "May I come in?"

"Umm–" said Aria as she nervously fixed her hair. "Uh, sure...come in."

Fitz smiled at her and went in, heading to the living room then quickly stopped in his tracks when he saw Ezra sitting with a puzzled look on his face.

"Well, I can't say I didn't see this coming." Ezra said as he got up from the couch. "For someone who deals a lot with time, you sure as hell pick the worst ones to drop on someone, you know?"

Fitz made a face and shrugged at him and said, "I'm sorry. I have no control over it." He looked at Aria and for a moment, he thought she had given him a look as if to say he was a liar.

"What happens now?" Ezra asked Aria. "One of us has to go right? And seeing as I'm the one who has an actual place to go, I take it I'm forced to leave and go home?"

Aria approached Ezra and placed her hand on his forearm and said, "You don't have to go. Nobody has to leave." She glanced back and forth at the men and suddenly said with pure excitement, "We can play Scrabble!"

Fitz let out a soft laugh as Ezra cocked an eyebrow at Aria, looking at her as if she had seven heads.

"You can't be serious." said Ezra. "To go from kissing you to playing a board game."

"I am." She answered almost too quickly. "And we'll have more time for that some other day." She offered a reassuring smile. "So, are you in or not?"

"I think he's afraid he'd lose, after being aware that I am an older, more experienced version of him which can only mean that I currently possess a broader knowledge of...well, everything." Fitz said challengingly.

Ezra glared at him and clenched his jaw and said, "Fine. We'll go for a round. If I win, you leave us alone. For good."

"No deal."

"Two months."

"Two weeks." Fitz bargained.

"One month."

For a moment, Fitz hesitated but agreed and said, "Fine."

"Promise?" Ezra said.

"Promise." answered Fitz.

Aria scoffed and crossed her arms above her chest and said, "_Excuse me?_ What am I, a piece of toast?"

"Shh, baby, this is between me and myself." Ezra said nonchalantly as he walked to Fitz and extended his hand.

Grinning confidently, Fitz shook his head at Ezra and shook hands and said, "Deal. And _when_ I win, you let me do what I want."

Ezra scrunched his face. "What the hell kinda condition is that? So if you wanted to kill me, I'm supposed to just let you?"

"Well, obviously I didn't kill you or else I wouldn't be here right now would I?"

"Now if you _both_ lose–" Aria cut in, her voice louder than theirs. "I get to hear absolutely no bickering from both of you whenever I'm around." Aria said solidly as the men looked at her. She exhaled sharply and said, "Well, then that's settled. Let me get the board. I expect you _men_ will behave like _men_ while I'm gone, right?"

"Yes, ma'am." The men answered in unison, scaring each other for a second, Ezra more than Fitz.

Aria looked at them momentarily before shaking her head to herself, equally amused and perplexed by the identical men standing in her living room.

* * *

**Author's note: Who do you want to win? **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for the reviews. I'm surprised nobody chose Aria hahaha. New chapter, enjoy!**

* * *

**June, 2014**

Aria stepped out of her car and squinted at the figure peeking behind the building and waving at her; as she came to realize who it was, she let out a chuckle and took a wary glance behind her before approaching him.

"You're breaking your deal, mister." She said to Fitz who hung his head low in defeat.

Fitz sighed and shrugged at her and said, "Technically I'm not. He said _us_ which includes both of you, not just you. And he's not here right now so–" He stepped closer to her, cornering her between his body and the brick wall. "Besides, that was a dumb bet." He added as he pressed his palm against the wall just beside her head.

"You didn't think so when you were still winning." She grinned as he leaned in to kiss her but before he could, she stepped back slowly looking at him and said, "I have to be fair to him."

"You live to torture me."

"I'm sorry." Her smile grew wider. "But a deal is a deal."

Fitz frowned at her virtue. "So much for being fair, huh." He ran his fingers through his hair and continued, "It's like a buy one, get one free...except it's you who's always getting the better end of every deal. "

"Don't worry, it won't last." She said with a faint smile.

"Please don't joke about that, Aria." said Fitz with his eyes narrowing on her.

"Joke about what?" She asked, her brow curled in confusion.

Stepping back, he shook his head and whispered, "I should go."

"Where do you have to go?"

"A place where I can keep my deal." He shrugged and hid his hands in his pockets and turned away, walking off.

"Fitz–"

"Yeah?" He looked back and watched her walk to him. Placing a hand on her back, Fitz smiled as Aria gave him a small kiss.

"Don't tell him." She said softly.

"Our secret." He said and watched her start for the other side of the building, waving him one last goodbye before leaving his sight completely.

For the time being, Fitz spent the part of his deal by practicing Aria's theory and found himself an empty field where he can disappear without calling anyone's attention. With his clenched hands, he stood in the middle of the field and thought hard about where he wanted to go.

He pictured one particular summer he had with his younger brother, Wes. It was years ago, just before Fitz's eighteenth birthday. He remembered the lake where he took Wes fishing, who was at the time too young and knew too little about the art of fishing but had enjoyed it as a young child would enjoy just about anything new and exciting especially when it came to wielding an unfamiliar weapon. Fitz could already see Wes swinging his fishing pole around, not caring for catching any prizes from the water.

"Come on…" Fitz whispered as he kept the memory in his mind, piecing all the details together. It was the smell that he remembered the most. The smell of grass and dust and the musty aroma wafting from the seaside. Then he heard his younger brother's faint laughter as his eyes remained closed. The sound moved around and Fitz imagined little Wes running around with his fishing pole grasped firmly by his tiny hand, his shaggy hair swinging in front of his eyes, his huge toothy grin stuck for the longest time. Then all of a sudden, the laughter grew louder and sharp as if Wes was now standing beside Fitz.

Fitz opened his eyes and saw his younger brother running back to Ezra. The boy took a seat beside his older brother and Ezra began to teach him about the baits. Letting out a gasp, Fitz ran to the closest tree and hid and watched as the memory played on.

**July, 2014 **

Aria woke up one morning, realizing it was the first week of July. Weeks had gone in a flash and she felt rather guilty each time she opened her eyes to see Ezra sleeping beside her while the other version of him was somewhere else, keeping his promise.

The rest of the morning was spent in deep deliberation and she felt regrettably conscious of all the things she did around Ezra, thinking whether she would ask him the favor of having to end the deal with Fitz.

They sat in the dining room with their light lunch in front of them. Ezra spoke about their plans for the coming week while she merely nodded, giving a small submissive smile that appeared to be miles away. Ezra noticed the distance but let it on. He was familiar of some people needing a space from certain routines, and most importantly he did not want to start anything with her on such a fine day.

"Ezra…" Aria finally said with a somber tone in her voice.

Looking up, he fixed his eyes on her and said, "Hmm? What's on your mind?"

"Please don't be mad if–" She paused, her fingers absentmindedly turning the fork over and over again. "I only ask this because I'm worried...not for any other reasons. Please believe that. I'm concerned, that's all."

"About what?"

"You...him." She shook her head and exhaled his name. "Fitz."

"Why?"

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "We haven't seen him in a while...and this bet isn't really helping that happen either. I just worry that something might've happened to him–to _you_...and we'd never know it."

Ezra looked down at his plate, trying to discern what it was she really wanted to say. "So, you want him back." He said simply, looking back at her now.

"I want you both here. I want you back." Aria corrected. Chuckling dryly, he reached for his glass of water and took a sip while she tilted her head at him. "You think I'm just making up some excuse just so I can have two guys. Is that it?"

"I didn't say that." He said.

"Well you didn't have to." She got up from her chair.

"Now wait a minute–"

"And I'm sorry for caring about you, alright? But one of us has to."

Ezra breathed deeply as he followed her with his eyes, left with a vague feeling of being loved and hated all at once by her. It was a paradox he was often caught in, and it seemed that she was always responsible for the quiet conflict taking place inside him. There were times where he felt the impulse to slam the door behind him and never come back and times where he wanted to kiss her so hard that they would have become one, if only reason had allowed it.

The sound of the running water guided him to where she was. Aria, sitting on the edge of the marble tub, ran her hand under the water without appearing to have any plans of actually going in.

Ezra held the door and said nonchalantly, "If he and I bump into each other, I'll tell him that you asked for him."

"Don't do that." Aria said coldly then turned to him.

"That's what you wanted!" He said. His patience was growing short fast.

She pointed at him and said, "No, Ezra! You don't get to make me feel like the bad guy here! As if I'm asking you to be replaced by some other guy."

"Well, that's what's happening, isn't it?" He finally said and continued. "I mean, nobody wants to address it but why don't we do that right now? Huh? Seems like a good time as any." He stepped in, closing the bathroom door behind him. "It's obvious that you'd much rather spend your day with him. For reasons you refuse to tell me–"

Standing up, Aria gestured with her hand and went on. "What are you even talking about? It's like you have this strange inferiority complex embedded in–"

"This is not about my ego or whatever the hell complex you want to accuse me of having, Aria." Ezra scoffed and shook his head at her. "It's about how hard it is to stay in love with someone who is clearly, unapologetically in love with someone else. As a matter of fact, it is _crushing_ when you know someone prefers someone else over you–" He gestured with his hand. "This might surprise you but nobody appreciates being second choice."

"How could I be in love with someone else when that someone else is you? Huh?" She moved closer to him. "How can you possibly be second choice when you're the only choice?"

He exhaled sharply and shook his head exhaustedly and said, "We're at this again, huh?"

"Until you accept it."

"Well, I can already predict that this will not be getting us anywhere."

"No, evidently not." She said solidly as she crossed her arms across her chest.

"Great. I'm glad we addressed everything." He said and headed for the door, turning the knob and just before exiting, he added, "And by the way, when I make a promise to someone, I make sure to keep it."

**July, 2014**

Sprawling onto the floor, Fitz looked around and was startled to find himself back in her apartment. He was aware that he had only a few more weeks to keep until he was freed from his bond. Quick footsteps resonated closer and closer and Fitz looked behind him to see Aria approaching. He broke out into a huge smile and stayed in his spot, waiting for her. And as soon as she was within his reach, Fitz felt a hard slap on his right cheek followed by a loud ringing in his ear. His face stayed unmoving with his mouth hanging wide open for a while as he was caught in the moment of registering what just happened and more importantly why it had to happened. He felt one of his eyes slowly welling from the pain.

"I'm sorry–" Aria breathed out and stood in shock as he moved his jaw for a second and rubbed the targeted side of his face.

"I'm sure I deserved that." He said and looked at her curiously.

Aria shook her head. "I'm just...really angry with you right now."

"Aria, you have no idea how much I wanted to come back but you said I had to–"

"No, not _you_ you. I meant the other you."

Fitz furrowed his brow at her and asked, "What did he do? What did I do?"

"He...well…" She thought for a second and bit her lower lip then went on. "I've realized the fault was on both ends...more so on mine than his, really." She explained. "But it does not make me feel less angry."

"I see…" He said then shook his head. "Actually, no I don't see. What happened, Aria?" He asked again as he took her hands and held them.

"I asked him to...end the deal."

Fitz tilted his head at her and said, "Aria…"

"I know! I know…" She glanced down at the floor. "It was unfair of me to ask, but I couldn't help it." She said. "You worried me."

"I appreciate your concern, but you can't do that to me." He told her. "I'm a very sensitive fella." He said half-jokingly, making her smile sadly.

"So I've learned." She said and they fixed their eyes on each other for a moment, taking in what they had been deprived of for quite some time. Although they had wanted to assuage their hunger for one another, there was a tacit agreement that there were more important matters than satisfying themselves.

"Have you talked to him?" asked Fitz and Aria shook her head in response. "How long has it been since…"

"It's been a week and a half."

"A week and a half?!" Fitz said in disbelief which caused him to rub his face in distress.

Aria swallowed hard and nodded disappointingly at herself. "Help me fix it." She looked at him with her big, sad eyes.

"I'm not sure I'd be making things any better once he sees me."

"Then just tell me how. Please." She said desperately.

Fitz studied her face before taking a seat on the couch. Closing his eyes, he steepled his fingers and put them to his lips and thought of Ezra's apartment. Right then and there, Fitz disappeared before she could even react.

Ezra leaned over the sink and splashed his face with cold water. Straightening up, he looked at the mirror and saw his reflection. He donned a light beard; a product permitted to stay purely due to apathy and despondency, and not necessarily conceived by a conscious choice of style as most people would assume. He went on to grab the towel from the rail and dried his face as he headed back to his bedroom to dress.

Placing the towel on his shoulder, Ezra halted and saw Fitz, whose back was turned, touching something from his night stand.

"I'm gonna give you thirty seconds to get out of my apartment." Ezra said, surprising Fitz and causing him to turn around as quickly as possible.

Fitz widened his eyes at him, shocked to see how truly identical they were now, almost indistinguishable down to the last detail.

"I see you've decided to go for the beard look as well." Fitz said calmly. "Finally, huh?"

Ezra walked to him and said, "Listen to me and listen well, I don't want anything to do with you." The men faced each other, keeping a small distance in between. "And I don't want anything to do with her."

Fitz glared at Ezra before lurching forward and swinging his fist at him, feeling the impact of his knuckles against Ezra's hard jaw. And before Fitz could absorb the pain in his hand, he felt Ezra's shoulders and arms wrapped around his torso crashing into him as he was caught in a tackle, landing themselves on the wooden floor. Ezra held him down as Fitz grabbed his shirt with one hand while the other protected his face, shielding it from Ezra's punch. Looking up, he saw Ezra's fist in mid-air and Fitz knew what was coming next, and so he shut his eyes and lifted his arm over his face. In an instant, the men disappeared into thin air.

**January, 2015**

With his arm over his eyes, Fitz stayed still and was perplexed to feel wet sand against his back. Putting his arm down, he saw gray clouds looming over as the sun hid behind them. He shot up and his eyes instinctively went to the same spot where she would be. Her body rested just a few feet away from the shoreline. Fitz furrowed his brow at the other figure beside her who was now slowly sitting up.

"Ezra? How–" Fitz wondered under his breath and ran to him once he realized that Ezra spotted her figure and was now going up to her curiously.

Once Ezra saw her face, his breath got caught in his chest and from afar Fitz's shout was nothing but a muffled noise to him. Getting on his knees, Ezra continued to stare at her face as he reached his hand out but had no clue where to touch her nor did he know if it was right to in the first place.

"Aria...hey–" Ezra breathed out in disbelief.

Catching him from behind, Fitz locked his arms with Ezra's and pulled him back earning a great distance away from her.

"Let me go!" Ezra yelled as he yanked his arms back and got up while his older self tried to wrestle him back down.

"Don't, Ezra–" Fitz said, wrapping his arms around Ezra's waist and pulling him back with him once again.

"Let go of me!"

"This isn't how you want to see her." He kept his arms secured around his body as Ezra tried to shake himself out of Fitz's hold, letting out a small and angry cry causing his voice to crack at the end. The men continued to wrestle until Ezra surrendered to his knees as he kept his gaze on her.

**July, 2014**

When they finally returned, conveniently landing at Ezra's place, Fitz noticed the unspoken loss his present self now carried with him. And at last, while he looked at Ezra's face, Fitz understood what Aria meant when she had told him about his eyes and how they mourned for something she could not figure out. He took his eyes off of Ezra and sat quietly on the couch across from him until Ezra finally got up and left.

Ezra went straight to his bedroom and changed his wet clothes and took some dry clothes for Fitz. But when he came back to the living room, Fitz was nowhere to be found and it was safe to assume that Fitz was going to spend his night at a different time.

It was already eleven o'clock in the evening when Aria felt the sudden desire to go to her coffee shop. Her apartment left an unwelcoming feeling right as soon as Fitz vanished on her, as if all the bad moments decided to dwell there and mock her for her insensibility. And all she knew was that she did not want to be there alone with her thoughts. But the unfortunate truth was that sadness was not an object you could just leave behind and forget. It was a shadow that follows you everywhere and most people will go from one place to another, thinking their shadow will finally go away, but often forget that a shadow only exists from lack of light.

She stepped out of her car which was parked just a block away from the shop. Walking down the street, she saw a man standing in front of the closed shop staring through the window.

"Ezra?" She whispered hopefully and picked up her pace until she got close enough to see his face, noticing the beard. "Oh…" Aria said as he looked at her with a straight face. "Fitz."

"Aria, I–"

"For a moment, I thought you were...him." She added as she reached in her purse for the store key and continued. "Where did you vanish off to, anyway?" She asked while Ezra watched her with his eyebrows curled quizzically.

"Aria...hey..." Ezra said softly and touched her arm gently. "What's going on?" He asked as she opened the doors and stepped in, and he followed her.

Aria turned to him and shrugged, and said, "Earlier, just before you appeared...I found myself wishing to be you–you know? To just be able to go back in time." She admitted. "Then I would have never said those things to Ezra–"

"But I am–" He began to say but she continued to speak over him.

"But instead of being here right now with you, telling you all of these things that aren't–" She licked her lips and smiled sadly. "Ezra and I would have been in bed, just like any normal day."

"Is that what you want? Right now? To be with Ezra." He asked simply and saw her give a little nod.

Looking up at him, she studied his face and furrowed her brow at him and for a second, she thought he looked different, and so she had to ask, "Ezra?"

Ezra stood before her and said, "I want what you want." He smiled faintly and reached for her, pulling her in for an embrace. And he kissed the top of her head, feeling that their lives depended on this very moment, but this time, he would get it right.


	7. Chapter 7

**July, 2014**

Tossing the tennis ball at Benham's bed, Ezra plopped down on the couch and watched as the dog went after the ball and began to play with it with his own kind of laziness, his leash being dragged behind him.

Aria sat with Ezra and rested there. It had been one of those days where everything went as planned. They felt sticky, but satisfied and the day was simple enough. The feeling of the hot sand from the beach lingered between their toes.

_"He's too old to be playing fetch is what it really is." She said before Benham went to fetch the tennis ball, surprising her._

_"I guess he thought it was worth it after all, huh?" said Ezra as they continued to watch old Benham retrieve the ball. And as soon as he got the ball in his mouth, Benham ran back to them._

_"Good boy, Benny!" Aria got down and rubbed Benham's ears and said, "Mommy's proud of ya, but sorry to break it to you, I don't have any treats with me."_

_Ezra chuckled and joined them and said, "She's terrible, isn't she?" He felt Aria nudged him with her shoulder. "We'll get you something on the way back, bud."_

_"He's getting fat, y'know." Aria whispered to Ezra._

_"He's also getting old. Let him have his fun." He said as he petted Benham._

"That was nice. Long overdue, but fun nonetheless." Aria said, her voice light as if she was floating in air.

Looking at her, Ezra smiled and reached for her forearm, letting his fingers tiptoe up to her shoulder as he moved in to kiss her.

Aria shut her eyes and smiled as their lips found the familiar curve of each other's mouth. It was curious how an act so simple and small created something so strangely remarkable, and made everyone feel different.

Their kiss was broken off by the distant sound of something crashing in the kitchen. Ezra sighed against her mouth as he pressed his forehead against hers.

"I should check, right?" Aria asked as she pulled away.

"Like we don't already know what or who it could be?" said Ezra. Aria slapped his chest and rolled her eyes but as she moved to get up, he caught her wrist and gently pulled her down to him again, kissing her once more and smiling as he proudly did while she let out a small laugh.

"You're terrible." She said and cupped the back of his head and kissed him some more.

"Only because you've taken all the–" He leaned back and felt her sit on top of him. "Nice in this room." He let out as he moved to kiss her neck now.

Coming from the kitchen, Fitz walked into the living room and saw the couple on the couch, utterly lost in their own world. He remembered this particular day although vaguely; the tennis ball by Benham's bed, the sandy blanket thrown in the hallway near their shoes, and the opened curtains in the room where the window was left ajar, providing a good breeze at times. But he was almost certain that he had never kissed her on the couch on this particular date nor did they do anything more than a kiss. He recalled feeling nostalgic, and so he thought for a moment why he did.

A phone rang, interrupting yet again their session. Aria got off of him in a quick motion and went to answer her phone. And Ezra watched her carefully, equally interested in the call.

"Oh okay, wait now? I wasn't told–" said Aria, touching her forehead lightly. "Sure, Holden, that's no problem with me. Of course. Of course, alright. Okay, be there in twenty. No problem." She said before ending the call.

"What was that?" asked Ezra and felt quietly disappointed that she was leaving.

"Um–" She shrugged nonchalantly. "Just a thing that came up."

"I don't deserve a detail?"

Aria tilted her head and went to him, leaning over to give him a light peck on the lips. "It's just a friend asking for help." She said.

"Yeah, it sounded like it. Holden, huh? Still needs help figuring out where the ducks go for the winter?" He forced a smile.

Letting out a small chuckle, Aria arched her eyebrows at him. "Holden is a friend. He sets up these meetings for people and he's in need of an extra hand tonight."

"What kind of meetings? Academic purposes?"

"Support meetings."

He squinted at her and asked, "Like Alcoholics Anonymous?"

"You get the idea."

Ezra nodded and made a face. "Well, do you need me there? Maybe two more extra hands?"

"No, no–" Aria said and smiled at him warmly. "These groups aren't very kind to unfamiliar faces. They get cagey, you know? And we want them to open up, not scurry away." She leaned closer and kissed him once more. "Although it's very kind of you to volunteer."

"I'm not all that terrible after all, huh?"

"Not at all. I'll be back later."

"I might head back to my place." He told her before she could leave.

"What for?"

"Well, _he's_ here." Ezra pointed at Fitz who stood quietly across the room.

Turning her head, Aria saw Fitz, finally acknowledging him with a smile. "Right." She said then looked at them back and forth. "No, just...stay for a bit. We'll talk about it when I get back. I won't be long, I promise. I have to get going."

Ezra kept his eyes on her as she walked to Fitz and kissed him goodbye too. It still felt strange to witness but Ezra had to force himself to slowly get used to the fact that they were indeed just one person. Someday, he would feel absolutely no jealousy at all but today was just not that day. He couldn't bear to think that he was sharing her lips with someone else.

A moment later, there was the sound of Aria's shoes and the door closing behind her. Resting on the couch, Ezra leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling then slowly shut his eyes. He could hear Fitz's footsteps rounding the room.

"So, you went to the beach, huh?" Fitz asked casually as he approached Benham.

Ezra sighed softly and said, "We're making small talk now?"

"We might as well, seeing as we're stuck here together for a few more hours."

"Yes, we went to the beach." Ezra said dryly.

Fitz smiled at Benham and murmured, "You fetched that ball quite nicely, I remember."

Bringing his head back down, Ezra furrowed his brow and asked, "So, you went to the beach too. Back then...the first time, I mean." He watched as Fitz looked at him and gave a nod. Ezra leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, clasping his hands together before him. "You mean to tell me that exactly everything that I am about to do, you've already done them?"

"Not everything. And not _exactly_." Fitz answered as Ezra cocked his head at him, waiting for a real explanation. "Some things have happened the same way they did the first time, when I did it...but I've noticed that there are things that you do that I never did in the past."

"Like what?"

"What did you do when you went to the beach?"

"We walked…" Ezra shrugged as Fitz gave him a look, so he continued. "We had fried dough and cotton candy and I got Benham a hot dog. What, did you get him a burger in your version of today?" He said sarcastically.

"No...we didn't eat out. We came back here and had lunch. I cooked."

"So, what's your point? The past doesn't matter?" He asked. "And that I have to learn how to cook?"

"No, I think there has to be something in common or else...things would go differently this time. Like a ripple effect. Between my day and yours, there's a detail that happened. Something significant...something that we missed out on."

"Did you just wake up one day and have a sudden knowledge of your condition?"

"It's all just a hunch for now. Besides, I've been doing some readings. Not all were applicable or even close to reasonable but where's the harm in trying?"

"That's what you do when you're not around? Read up on your condition?"

Fitz looked at him intently and said, "Yes. If I want to undo things. And I do...starting with never letting her near that lake."

Ezra stared at Fitz as he began to take him seriously, then he asked, "So, did she leave after you had lunch?"

"No, she left later in the evening." Fitz said, pausing for a moment then let out a gasp and began to pet Benham excitedly. "I'm a genius. _You're_ a genius." He said, looking directly at Ezra. "It's gotta be it."

"What's gotta be it?" asked Ezra while Fitz laughed at the realization.

"Aria left to help with the meeting." Fitz said as he kissed the top of Benham's head.

"That's the significant thing?" Ezra said unimpressed, so he rested his head back on the couch, staring at the ceiling again.

"It's gotta be!" Fitz glanced at Ezra before petting Benham again, wrapping the leash around his hand. "It's gotta be, right bud?" He said to Benham.

"What's so life-changing about an A.A. meeting?" He asked sarcastically. And for a long moment, there was no response. Ezra looked to Benham's area and was so shocked that he shot up from his seat. "Benham?" He said and looked around, only to see an empty apartment.

**January, 2004**

Fitz felt a strong unrelenting pull, bringing him back to consciousness. Widening his eyes, he looked at Benham in front of him tugging on the leash with his mouth.

"Damn it, no–" Fitz said as he looked around and realized that he was at a subway station. They were under the stairs, reassuring Fitz that nobody saw how he and the dog appeared there out of the blue. Grabbing the leash, he walked around with Benham. He continued to the very end of the station where he finally spotted someone, making them the only two souls in the station. He kept walking until he was a few feet away from her. Taking a side glance, Fitz noticed that the girl was chewing at her nail and looked quite nervous. Benham began to bark, causing her to put her hand down self-consciously. She glanced at Fitz for a second while Benham continued to bark.

"Hey...hey…what is it?" Fitz said to Benham then saw the dog looking down at the tracks where a rat walked along the rail. Benham moved to the edge, barking at the rat as Fitz pulled him back gently. "Leave it, Benham. Sorry–" He said as he looked at the girl apologetically but she no longer paid attention to them or to anybody.

Spencer Hastings stared blankly into space as she waited for the train. Her brow curled as she looked straight on, almost forgetting to blink. She had a certain wisdom that no high school sophomore often did, and this was the very source of her unhappiness. Most things had left her unsatisfied especially her family. Her parents and even her older sister were a trinity of accomplished lawyers. It was an unspoken goal for all the Hastings; a goal which Spencer had no plans of achieving. She was born for something else, she believed, and she learned to want something else along the way. The theatricals of the court sounded unpleasant and upon hearing the word, all she could picture were men in suits trying to get at each other's throats. Spencer decided she prefered the theatrics that were done on real stages, where dramas were not as harmful as the real world. But straying away from the Hastings goal was tantamount to disowning oneself. It was when this realization set in that her school grades began to drop. It was simultaneously an act of desperation and quiet rebellion. However, it did not seem enough for her nor did it feel drastic in any way. All she received was lectures from her parents, telling her that she needed to concentrate more and even displayed her older sister as the perfect model for what Spencer should and had to be in order to be a true Hastings.

And so, Spencer had thought of no other way – first, she would disappoint her loved ones and second, she would disappoint herself.

Wind blew in their direction, indicating the approaching express train. Fitz glanced at Spencer once more and saw her foot take a step closer to the edge as the train drew near. Watching her carefully, he furrowed his brow at the sight of her closed eyes and relaxed face as she took another step. Then as the train came seconds away, Spencer exhaled sharply and lifted her right foot toward the edge.

"No!" Fitz shouted as he jumped in and put his arms around her, dropping Benham's leash while Spencer let out a scream. They fell back as the train went by noisily. Covering her, Fitz pulled away and looked down at her.

With wide frantic eyes, Spencer finally looked at Fitz and said rather angrily, "Why would–" She caught her breath.

"You don't wanna do that." said Fitz.

"How would you know?" She said.

"It might seem bad at the moment, but trust me, things are only bad as we believe them to be."

"There's nothing for me here." She whispered. "And you don't know me."

"You're young. You'll have many other things ahead of you, just...please, don't think about it again." He moved back and said, "You never know, but...you might save someone's life by saving yours." He kept his gaze at her and they sat quietly for a long moment before he asked, "Are you alright?"

"Yes." Spencer finally answered, her eyes still on his. "Thank you..."

He looked at her and noticed the expression of her face, and so he said, "I'm Ezra." He extended his hand but she only stared at him. "What?"

"Aren't you worried people might mistake that for a girl's name?"

He shook his head as he smiled shyly. "And what's your name?"

"My name's Spencer."

"That's a boy's name." He said, making her smile.

And it was as if someone had flicked the lights on. The smiling girl suddenly appeared to be a whole different person. She had escape her previous self with a single smile. And it had been such a long time since her last smile and she had forgotten how it felt to be happy even for a moment. They smiled at each other before finally getting up.

Fitz glanced around as he remembered the Beagle. "Benham?" He said, turning his head left and right, calling out the dog's name. "Benham, buddy?" He let out a sharp exhale. "Benham?!" He shouted and looked at Spencer who stood over the edge with a stunned look on her face. Running to her, he looked down and immediately spotted Benham's leash on the track and what was left of the old dog.

"No!" He shut his eyes and took a few steps backwards. "No, no, no, no, Benham, oh Benny–" He placed his hands over his head and suddenly, his head was light and everything felt as though they were spinning and all he could see was the color red. He let out a series of short breaths before opening his eyes again. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Spencer slowly backing away with a terrified look on her face. Then a moment later, she had ran off to the other end of the station, leaving him behind. Frantically pacing back and forth, Fitz pressed his lips together while his hands remained on top of his head, moving indecisively. Then he ran his hands over his face and ran near the edge, kneeling over it. Looking down, Fitz watched a rat crawl out from under the rail.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**I feel like I've scared off most of my followers here from the past stories that were "tragic"; I've noticed the drastic change of reviews which makes me think that maybe uploading my stories on here might be just a waste effort if no one's reading them here...and I'm thinking whether to just upload my stories on tumblr instead. :/**


	8. Chapter 8

_Ezra Fitz tilted his head and looked on with amusement at the two sleeping figures on the couch. Aria had bundled herself with a plaid throw blanket while Benham curled up beside her, his small snout pressed against her chest while she had her arm resting on top of his torso. Ezra Fitz remembered the first two weeks of winter, which slowed the city life, and the city that never sleeps appeared to have slept for the first few days of the cold season. People only went out to go to work and right after, they rushed home for warmth and lighter clothing. Aria and Ezra spent most of their nights inside, discovering plenty of miscellaneous things they could do around the apartment. But most of the time they lingered in the living room and he found himself playing fetch with old Benham while Aria watched from her couch, laughing softly from time to time._

_"Hey…no biting, mister." Ezra said to Benham as the dog pulled on his shirt, tugging playfully at it._

_"Benham, be nice." said Aria as she dangled her leg over the couch, letting her big toe graze over Benham's back while he continued to pull on Ezra's shirt, ripping it slowly._

_"Aww, buddy…" Ezra said softly._

_"Benham! That's not nice!" Aria said and gasped, causing Benham to lower his head and walk off with his tail between his legs._

_Chuckling, Ezra examined the back of his shirt and saw two rips near the hem. Then he looked up at Aria who mouthed 'sorry' to him. He shook his head with a smile, getting up from the floor to go to her._

_"He's nuts." said Ezra as he joined her on the couch._

_Aria chuckled then moved on up as he settled himself between her legs. Apologizing, she looked at him deeply and said, "He's gone crazy. You have to forgive him."_

_"Of course. How can I not? He's yours."_

_"He is." She glanced at Benham for a moment and he was resting his chin on the floor with his face turned away._

_"But the shirt, you can make it up to me in kisses." He said with a crooked smile as he lowered his head to kiss her. And as they kissed delicately, Aria grabbed the hem of his shirt and slid it up, allowing her hands to touch his abdomen up to his chest before pulling the shirt over his head._

_"Just kisses? Here I was willing to do more." She whispered._

_"Well, I didn't wanna be a dog. Having one in this room should be enough." He said as he felt her body shake with laughter. Ezra chuckled and buried his face in her neck, planting small kisses there while her soft laughter continued on._

**July, 2014**

Ezra sat in his car and stared at the phone on his lap, his thumb hesitantly hovering over the call button with her name on the top screen. It had been nearly fifteen minutes of indecisiveness and he did not even know why it had bothered him so much. Fitz had to come back, Ezra thought. But it wasn't so much about worrying for Fitz, in fact he no longer worried about the other man. It was the dog's return he was mostly concerned about. He knew Fitz could come back anytime and in the same condition, but he never considered how it would be for others besides himself. What happened to those who traveled with Fitz? For a moment, Ezra felt almost scared to know the answer. Letting out a defeated sigh, Ezra rested his forehead against the steering wheel while time ticked by.

After a while Ezra shot up from his seat, his forehead hurting from the idle position it had been in. Someone knocked on the glass window once more. Blinking hard, he squinted and looked to the side and saw Aria waving at him. Rubbing his eyes from sleep, he turned the engine then rolled down the window for her.

"Any reasons why you're sleeping in your car?" Aria asked.

Blinking repeatedly, Ezra inhaled deeply and said, "I was...contemplating."

"About?"

He furrowed his brow then shrugged. "I can't seem to remember." He answered as he looked up at her and gave a faint smile.

"Must have been some contemplation." She said.

"Meeting's done?"

"Yep." She said then leaned in closer. "Well, are you comfortable there or did you wanna come up and sleep in my bed instead?" She asked while flashing a toothy smile.

**January, 2004**

Standing with clenched fists Fitz opened his eyes and felt the texture of the leash against his palm. He looked down and saw Benham. Then his eyes moved across the station and saw Spencer near the edge. Walking over to her, their eyes caught for a moment so Fitz looked away and went to the foot of the stairs where he tied Benham's leash around the railing. Then he stood beside Spencer again as the train approached. It all happened in a flash as it had the first try. He caught a glimpse of Benham's leash as he covered the young girl beside him, stopping her from jumping off.

"No!" He yelled as Benham ran towards him, his leash slipping through the small gap just as the train reached them.

**July, 2014**

"Did Fitz leave?" She asked as they entered the apartment.

Ezra grabbed her by the waist and kissed her, taking her by surprise. Then he pulled back and said, "I don't want to talk about him." He gave her another peck on the lips. "How did the meeting go?"

"I don't want to talk about the meeting." She responded and smiled as they headed off to the bedroom.

**January, 2004**

Fitz tried again and again, jumping back at the same time so he could replay the scene and do it all differently. But after a series of failed attempts, he soon realized that there were two possible outcome but only rooting from one choice.

"I'm so sorry, bud..." Fitz whispered to Benham as he tied the leash around the same railing although knowing that it was useless and that fate was going to find a way for Benham to jump off the track. Leveling down with Benham, Fitz pet the top of his head and gave it a light kiss.

He walked off and stood next to Spencer Hastings and waited for the train one last time.

**July, 2014**

Aria turned and faced him while she tucked both hands under her right cheek. They looked at each other quietly for a moment. It was a few days ago and not any later when Ezra shared to her about this "anchoring" eyes she always gave him. He hadn't elaborated to her what it meant. She thought perhaps he himself did not know what it truly meant, only how it felt. And she held off her response about the look_ he _gave right back, the sorry look he always had on when he thought she did not notice him watching her. And Aria hated this look, for it reminded her that something is going to happen in the near future that would give him a reason to adorn the look. She thought he wouldn't understand if she told him about it–she did not want him to think about those sorts of things yet anyway. All the morbid and the dreary talk were never her favorite subjects and life had plenty of it already.

"Tell me a story." said Aria out of the blue.

Ezra twitched a smile before lowering his brow at her and asked, "A story?"

"Mhm."

"Any particular genre?" He asked and she answered with a determined shake of her head. "Potpourri, okay." Licking his lips, he glanced at ceiling then looked back at her and started. "Alright...well, do you know anything about fireflies?"

"Just that I've never been lucky to catch one." She said.

"You wouldn't want to do that if you knew about them."

Aria curled her lips curiously and asked, "Why not?"

"Well, you'd be putting an end to what could have been a grand romance between two fireflies."

"Is that right?"

"Yes. See, those flickering lights have an actual purpose besides being incredibly remarkable at night." He said. Even in the dark, Ezra noticed Aria's big eyes gleamed with childlike interest. Talks of fireflies always seemed to bring the child out of everyone. Ezra shifted for a second then continued on. "The male fireflies are the ones who light up most of the time, and they serenade the females with those lights and the ladies sit upon those tiny leaves of grass, watching those lights, pondering...and in the sea of that passing brightness, the men are all really saying one thing."

"And what is that?"

"_Choose me_." whispered Ezra.

Aria stared at him before saying, "Are you just making this up?"

"I wouldn't dare." He said softly. "So, the story continues…" Ezra saw her nod on. "He lights up for her and keeps that light shining as long as he can because that's the only way to win her over." Ezra paused, taking a glance at the ceiling while smiling to himself. "A lasting light. That's what she looks for. And once she sees it, she decides that he's for her...and that's when she finally flickers her light back at him." He said and turned to Aria, smiling at her.

Biting her lower lip, Aria whispered, "What happens after they find each other?"

Ezra studied her face and inhaled deeply and said, "Well, as nature would have it, they mate. But besides all that biological obligation...he actually does something else, something wonderful for her." He said with a newfound eagerness in his tone. "He gives her this gift, you know...in the midst of all the intimacy. It's this protein filled wedding gift that she'll need for when she has their baby."

"Settling down already, huh?" She joked lightly.

Chuckling, Ezra nodded and said, "Well, they won't be looking for anyone else. They're very sure species."

"And romantic."

"Yes. And romantic." He smirked.

Aria sighed and said softly, "How could something so small be capable of that much love? It's scary to think about."

"What's scary about it?"

"That an insect can love better than most humans can."

"It's just how they were made. They don't know any other way." He moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her to him. Kissing the small spot near her jaw, he said, "Guess I should've gone with a lighter, funnier story, huh?"

"No…" Aria shifted her head a bit and peeked at him. "I liked this story."

Ezra lifted his head and looked up at her, then gently he moved on top of her and dipped back down, kissing her tenderly on her lips. Resting his arms on either side of her head, he looked at her before she lifted her head for a quick second and gave him a light peck once more.

Then Aria pulled away and gazed at him and had asked very quietly, "Did you light up for me?"

Ezra stared down at her lips before looking up to lock eyes and said, "I burned for you."

Pulling him down with her, Aria let her fingers run through his hair as they continued to kiss slowly and patiently, feeling as if they had just found each other for the first time.

**January, 2004**

He could hear the faded sound of the approaching train and the voices playing in his head over and over again. _You might save someone's life by saving yours. Spencer._

Fitz stayed on the ground, wiping his eyes then he looked over the edge and saw Benham's leash. Licking his lips, he glanced around before focusing his eyes once again at the leash. Then he jumped off the edge and ran to the leash which was stuck under the metal railing. Fitz tugged on the leash, crouching to get a better look then he felt the metal shaking and a slight wind blowing in his direction. Looking up, he saw a faint white light coming from the opposite end. Hurriedly, Fitz went back to the leash and tugged as hard as he could as the metal shook harder, indicating that the train was fast approaching.

"Come on!" He said under his breath and gave one last tug. Staggering for a bit, Fitz wrapped the leash around his hand and looked up, widening his eyes at the train which to his estimate was only ten seconds away from him. Struggling to get back on his feet, Fitz watched the train as it approached him and so, he held his hand over his face and braced himself for the end.

**July, 2014**

"I don't know, baby. Hey, I thought we were just getting something to eat." Ezra said nervously as he stood in the middle of the living room in his boxers while Aria walked over to Benham's area to check the cage.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Aria opened his cage only to see it empty.

"Aria...they'll come back. They'll be here before you know it, okay? Let's just go back to bed and wait til–"

"Please don't tell me to go back to bed while my dog is missing." She said angrily, looking at him with piercing eyes. "Don't you care at all?"

He let out a sound of disbelief and said, "Of course I care!"

"Then why didn't you tell me–why didn't you tell me as soon as I came back?!" She glared at him. "But instead you drag me to bed…like…" She scoffed. "Was that all for distraction?" She looked at him and whispered, "How dare you."

"Aria, hey…" He walked to her. "Let's not get any crazy ideas, alright? Give me a little credit here. I did not sleep with you just so I can stall you. I promise." Holding her face, he leveled with her eyes and said, "They'll be fine. They'll be here. I'm sure they're just taking a walk a few years back." He offered a small smile.

"How can you be so sure?" She asked with a calmer tone.

"Because it's happened to me too."

"What?" Aria furrowed her brow. "You've traveled with Fitz?"

Raising his eyebrows, he nodded aimlessly. "Yes. And see, I'm here, aren't I?"

"Where did you go? When was this?" She asked suspiciously. "You've never told me this."

Hesitantly, Ezra shook his head at her and shrugged. "That's not really important right now, is it? The point is, I came back just fine. And so will Benham."

"No!" Fitz screamed as he covered his eyes with his hand that had the leash wrapped around it.

Aria let out a scream, quickly holding onto Ezra as she looked behind her, seeing Fitz standing in a protective stance and grimacing. Ezra furrowed his brow at the sight of the leash hanging from Fitz's hand and in an instant, he knew that he had been wrong about his prediction. Looking warily at Aria, he saw her chest heaving up and down while she stared at Fitz, allowing herself a moment for everything to register.

Putting his hand down, Fitz saw the couple before him with a rattled look on their faces. He caught Ezra's eyes glancing down at something so Fitz followed and looked down to see the leash around his hand.

"I–" Fitz breathed out as he dropped the leash on the floor.

"Where is he?" Aria finally asked with a voice so soft that Fitz had barely heard her words. "Where's Benham?" She watched as Fitz slowly approached her. Stepping back, she tilted her head in disbelief. "No…" She let out as she began to shake her head. "You didn't…"

"It was–it was an accident." Fitz said softly and in response, she had let out an inaudible gasp that was only a preface to an actual cry. Approaching her Fitz brought his hands up to touch her but she moved away.

"_Don't_ touch me..." She whispered shakily as she turned and walked away, and Ezra had caught a glimpse of tears welling in her eyes.

"Aria–" said Fitz as he tried to walk after her but Ezra took a step to block him. "It was an accident." Fitz repeated softly this time as his eyes avoided Ezra's.

Ezra hardened his jaw as he narrowed his eyes on Fitz and said, "You know, that excuse is getting really old. You either learn how to control yourself or take the damn responsibility for once."

* * *

**Author's note:**

**This is kinda by far my favorite chapter of this story and I'm not entirely sure why. **


	9. Chapter 9

**July, 2014**

What choice did he have but to stand outside looking in? He stayed from a considerable distance which was enough for him to remain unnoticed, and watched her interact with an emotional woman who was perhaps twice Aria's age. Their conversation ended with an exchange of warm hugs and goodbyes. As the unfamiliar woman headed down the opposite direction, Fitz kept his eyes on Aria who stood still with an expression on her face that struck him as peculiar and foreign and perceptibly sad. He had wondered what it was she appeared to be reflecting upon. It was moments like this he wished he had never made the mistake of displeasing her, for he had wanted to always be there for her and offer her whatever comfort he could provide for the current ache life presented her with. But unfortunately he was sure of his punishment thus he remained penitent and made no attempt in begging for forgiveness right away. Showing his face to her so soon would only remind her of what he had done to her beloved , Aria turned around and retreated to the building, ending the momentary show that Fitz was lucky enough to catch. Ever since his self-banishment, as he would call it, he did not allow a day go by without seeing her even if it meant watching her from across the street for mere seconds. He wanted to be certain of her present state, to know that she was as resilient as he expected her to be, and many instances had proved that she was in fact quite resilient, surprisingly more than he had imagined. Fitz wondered if Ezra had a role in her recovery and if that was the case, he owed him a great deal.

Two days after her rejection of his desire to see her, Ezra made yet again an attempt to call Aria. When she finally picked up, Ezra was caught off guard by the silence that had replaced the ringing, and for a moment he had forgotten all of the things he had prepared to say to her, and instead he greeted her with an unsatisfactory 'hey'. He listened in, hoping she would respond. But when this did not happen within a matter of seconds, he cleared his throat and took his chance.

"I just wanted to say...I apologize for all the mistakes I am about to make in the future...especially the ones that will affect you." Ezra pressed his forehead against the wall as he continued to talk in a low volume. "However I don't think it's very fair that I too am being expelled from seeing you and being with you for a crime I have yet to commit." He said with conviction. "And for what it's worth...I would've gone back in time a million times over just to save Benham. But it seems too late and I'm very very sorry for what happened, Aria." said Ezra as he touched his now clean shaven jaw. After Fitz's blunder, Ezra knew immediately that he had to shave so Aria did not mistake their identity but it did not make much difference as Aria isolated herself from both Ezra and Fitz.

Ezra sighed and continued on. "I'm not entirely sure how to repair the damage. I thought perhaps if I came to your doorstep carrying a box of puppies, it would make it all better but I realized that would only be offensive to old Benny...wouldn't you think so?"

There was a long moment of silence and Ezra gently banged his forehead against the wall repeatedly until Aria finally spoke.

"Yes...it would." She had said in a whisper.

"I'm so sorry, darling." He said sincerely.

"It wasn't your fault."

Ezra turned around, pressing the phone harder to his ear and said with restrained eagerness, "Any chance you'll want to join me for dinner tonight?"

As evening fell, Fitz finally reached his apartment building. For a moment, he stood there suffering in silence from the fatigue that washed over him, and he could feel sweat soaking through the back of his shirt and some rolling down his forehead. He had walked all the way home, for he had no money with him for bus fare. At first he thought it was a short walk and indeed, it was. It was only a few miles from where he last saw Aria go inside the unknown building, but the heat made time seem excruciatingly slow.

The doorman leaned against the glass door and yawned before straightening himself up as soon as he spotted Fitz. "Good evening, Mr. Fitz." The doorman greeted as Fitz approached the entrance.

"Working hard, huh?" Fitz said and smiled a bit as he looked at the doorman who seemed to grow even more sluggish by the seconds.

The doorman let out a weak chuckle and said, "I'm sorry...it's just been a slow day, sir."

"I completely agree." Fitz answered as he went all the way in, wiping his shoes on the mat for a second. Then he stayed there, looking down at his shoes as he realized the flaw in his plan, and so he went back to the doorman and asked, "Can you do me a favor? I forgot my key. Would it be a bother to ask someone to go up with me and open the apartment?"

"Oh, that's no problem at all." The doorman said as he led the way and Fitz followed and watched as the doorman signaled to one of the attendants.

"Thank you." Fitz said to the men before trailing off with the attendant. Then a thought came to him. Why did he not think of doing this rather than trick Ezra into giving him the key? He thought of a reason that would justify him. He wouldn't risk being in the same building with Ezra. But today he had no other option.

The workshop was an hour long. Ezra mapped out the schedule in his head and was reassured to find that there would be enough time for dinner and that it would not be too late at night. And if things ran late, he would have no choice but to leave the workshop earlier than usual in order to meet with Aria for their reservation which he had made after she said yes to his proposition.

Ezra sat in the last row near the exit and leaned back against his chair as the lights dimmed and the speaker went up on the small stage to begin her presentation. She was a small lady in her mid fifties and with eyes which glimmered with excitement and knowledge. And Ezra could sense that she had something worth saying.

"As Cummings once said–" The lady started. "_Love is a deeper season than reason, my sweet one_."

Ezra smiled the faintest of smiles and was glad to be proven right by her opening line. Her words had piqued his interest now, even more so than before. He had always loved the subject of love. It was truly the only concept he found to be simultaneously simple and complex. The lady went on with her introduction, speaking eloquently and with such clarity as she began to slowly amble around the stage as her hands danced along with her words.

"Love is a _need_. Love is an _addiction_. As far back as one can remember..."

Aria sipped on a bottle of water as she looked over at the dog's bed that was pushed back against the wall. She reflected on what Ezra had said earlier and how he was right in the sense that Benham couldn't be so easily replaced by a new dog and Aria had no plan on any replacement in the first place. It was as if old Benny had meant nothing to her and that simply wasn't true, in fact, Benny had meant so much more to her before Ezra Fitz ever got to know. As she stood staring at the bed, she was rather glad that Ezra did not go on with his plan because she knew she would have lost her temper and become unreasonably upset for something he had only meant as a comforting gesture.

Sighing, Aria walked away and headed for the bedroom and prepared for this dinner that she had been longing for. After spending a few days eating alone, it was only to realize that she had grown accustomed to the soothing feeling of having the person she loved and who loved her sitting on the other side of the table.

Ezra rushed to the building and gave the doorman a quick, friendly salute as the doorman replied with his usual greeting. Then the doorman rubbed his eyes and took a second look at Ezra who was impatiently waiting for the elevator. The doorman furrowed his brow and was slightly disconcerted at the sight of a beardless Ezra.

"You gotta stay awake, my man." The doorman whispered under his breath, slapping himself on the cheek repeatedly.

When Ezra got out of the elevator, he saw a pair of ragged shoes outside his apartment door. And he thought to himself how Fitz seriously had the worst timing and this was perhaps the fifth time that it had proved to be true.

Wiping his sweaty forehead and the back of his neck with a small washcloth, Fitz looked behind him upon hearing the doorknob turn. Then he saw Ezra enter with an irked look on his smooth face.

"You shaved." said Fitz, as he put the washcloth in his back pocket.

Ezra arched his eyebrows and said, "Yeah well, I didn't want to be you."

"I don't want to be me either."

"What are you doing here anyway?" asked Ezra, as he walked to the bedroom.

Fitz followed casually. "Are you going to see her tonight?" He asked and watched Ezra reach into the closet, pulling out a clean set of folded clothes.

"Yes, I am seeing her again...after a few days of being shunned, thanks to you." He shot Fitz a glare.

"Listen, there wasn't anything I could do with Benham." Fitz approached him. "I tried...multiple times, but–"

"But what?" said Ezra impatiently.

"The girl would've died."

Ezra turned his head to look at Fitz and said quietly, "What girl?"

"I don't know–some girl, just a girl having a bad day and didn't wanna have any more of it. It doesn't matter who...I just know that you would've done the same thing." Fitz explained. "And perhaps if I could get Aria to talk to me, she'd think that what I did is something worth forgiving."

"Did you come here to ask me for that favor?"

Fitz swallowed hard and asked, "What would you have done?"

"I would have stayed away from Benham, from everyone." said Ezra.

"Even from her?" Fitz let out a sound resembling a scoff and a laugh. "I'd like to see the day. You couldn't even go two days without her."

"And whose fault is that?" Ezra said, as Fitz sighed and glanced down, catching his fading hands. Rolling his eyes, Ezra shook his head at Fitz one last time and said, "Guess that's your cue."

**December, 1995**

There was a cool gust of wind that blew from the east, causing him to cross his arms in front of his chest. Fitz observed the snow now falling gently as the wind calmed. The plaza was covered in deep snow. There were trucks with plowers coming from both direction on the main road. He observed the people going on about their business and then spotted his little brother followed by a young Ezra and their mother, Dianne. He watched them cross the street as Ezra walked beside his brother with his small hand in his.

Turning away, Fitz quickly headed to the parking lot and as he reached the corner, he nearly bumped into a young girl who wore a heavy pea coat and a knitted beanie and was looking up at him with her big, bright eyes.

"Hi." said the little girl, whose face appeared to be equally curious and friendly.

Fitz reluctantly smiled and slowly recognized, from the shape and color of her eyes, that he was looking at a very young Aria whose height barely came up to his waist. "H-Hello…" He answered apprehensively and watched as she continued to stare at him blankly. Her straight bangs reached her brow and her hair was a few shades lighter.

She looked at his feet and giggled and asked, "Where are your shoes?"

"What?" He looked down and saw. "Oh–" His eyes went back to her. "I didn't feel like wearing any today."

"Why not?"

"I like the feel of the snow against my bare feet."

"You're silly." said Aria.

Fitz smiled then stammered, "Is...are...are you lost? Where's your mommy?"

"She's getting a cart." Aria glanced behind her and pointed as Fitz looked in the same direction and saw Ella pulling a cart from the storage area.

"You should stay close with her. You shouldn't be alone, you know." said Fitz. "And you should definitely not talk to strangers."

"What's your name, mister?" She said and the sound of her voice was high and chirpy that it made him smile.

He bent down a bit and said, "I'll tell you when we meet again. How's that?" He gazed at her small face and furrowed his brow when blood began to slowly trickle from her nose. Reaching for his back pocket, Fitz took out the washcloth from earlier and gently moved closer to Aria. "Now don't panic, okay...I have this cloth–" He waved it in front of her and said, "You're having a little nosebleed...will it be okay if I take care of it for you?" He said as she nodded in response, and so he lightly pressed the cloth to her nose. And immediately, the blood diffused through the cotton. Shortly after, the flow of blood became heavier and faster and did not seem to want to stop. Fitz grew frantic at the sight. Then he caught young Aria looking down and seeing the blood-soaked cloth. As soon as he heard her start to cry, he began to say,"No, no, it's okay. It's okay. I bet this has happened a bunch of times, huh?" Fitz asked in order to distract her from crying.

Aria stopped for a moment and looked at him and nodded, "Yeah."

"I get them too sometimes. Hey, wanna know a secret?" He said and saw her nod gently. "You're not supposed to tip your head back despite what they always tell you."

"Why?" asked Aria and her voice was back to the same curious chirp.

Fitz smiled and looked up and saw Ella rushing toward them with an alarmed look on her face. He glanced down and saw his bloody hands fading before fixing his eyes on Aria once more. "Your mommy's coming...I'm gonna need you to hold the cloth now, can you do that for me?" He said as she nodded and held the cloth with her small hands.

**July, 2014**

Ezra chuckled and listened to Aria ramble about his clean shaven look. He preferred this subject over the time traveling man or the old dog. It was always better to see her smiling. He looked at her as she leaned across the table and reached out her hand, touching his jaw for a moment.

"You look younger without the beard." Aria pointed out and bit her lower lip, as Ezra held her hand there and kissed it.

"I _am_ younger compared to him." replied Ezra. The slight mention of Fitz seemed to have affected her, as she pulled back and rubbed the back of her neck discreetly. "Aria." He said and glanced up to see the waiter approaching their table with their drinks. With a forced smile, he nodded to the waiter and thanked him before reaching for his drink.

"How was your workshop?" Aria asked nonchalantly.

For a moment, Ezra had looked at her intently and conveyed a look of understanding. Tonight their conversation was to be void of Fitz or anything that was closely related to him. But he had felt unfair with this unspoken agreement. He admitted to himself a feeling of sympathy for Fitz only after knowing the facts. It was always that way in life–that people were more inclined to forgive each other once they knew the story behind the offense. And he had wished that she knew the facts too. However he had decided that it was not his place to defend Fitz. He had the impression that Aria would much rather prefer Fitz to delivery the apology instead of a proxy, and it did not seem wrong to believe that it was the only thing she deserved after everything.

"It was nice, enlightening." Ezra said finally, going back to her question. "It was about the brain and how it functions as a love junkie."

She let out a short chuckle and went, "A love junkie?"

"Apparently, people tend to get addicted to love."

"Like sex addicts?"

"No, that's lust. That's only physical. It's a completely different thing." He said and did not hesitate to continue. "She talked about how falling in love with something or more appropriately with someone had all the characteristics of an addiction. Tolerance, withdrawal, relapse." He gestured with his hand as he talked. "Say...you and I met for the first time, and we hit off well–"

"Didn't we?" She arched her brow.

Ezra grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I guess there's no use to making up an example when we're already one."

"Right, go on." Aria placed her hand on her cheek and rested her elbow on the table.

"Well, you know, after a few dates, you'll start to wanna see that person more and more."

"Tolerance. Mhm."

"And withdrawal is just all things that happen when you haven't seen that person for a very long time or...when they decide to ignore you–" He cleared his throat at her and gave her an accusing look before breaking out into a smile.

"And what is a relapse?"

"It's when he's just going about his day and suddenly he sees something that reminds him of her, so he starts to call her up and practically begs her to have dinner with him."

Aria shook her head and turned away, facing the window. She looked across the street where she saw Fitz pacing back and forth. Then he looked up and realized that she had been watching him. They looked at each other for a very long time before Aria gave a slight nod for him. Licking her lips, she turned her attention back to Ezra and said, "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" asked Ezra, as Aria tilted her head towards the window where he finally saw Fitz waiting outside and pacing nervously. Ezra looked at Aria and pointed out, "That's a relapse."

Rolling her eyes, she reached for the glass of water and took a sip before leaving the restaurant.

Ezra watched the two meet outside and studied their interaction. He noticed how Aria crossed her arms in front her chest while Fitz hid his hands inside his pockets and slouched his shoulders a bit.

"You're not following me, are you?" said Aria with a suspicious look on her face.

"Ezra told me you guys would be here." Fitz said softly.

"Did he?" answered Aria.

Ezra furrowed his brow when she had turned to glance back at him and wondered what it was they were talking about, and why she had to look at him in that way.

"I had to see you." Fitz sighed and took his hands out of his pockets and began to step back. "I can't help it."

"So, you _have _been following me."

"I had...I have to see you." He said. "I'm sorr–"

"How often?" She cut in.

Fitz looked at her nervously and said, "During the day then during the night." Then he studied her face and went on to what he was meaning to ask her. "Did Ezra tell you about…"

"He hasn't mentioned anything about you." Aria informed him.

"I suppose it's better you hear it from me." He exhaled sharply and rubbed the right side of his cheek, leaving a red streak on it.

Aria gasped softly and reached for his hand and said, "You're bleeding."

"What?" He looked down at his hands and noticed the blood which was slowly drying up. "No, this isn't my blood." said Fitz instantly.

Cocking an eyebrow at his statement, she let go of his hand and said, "Is that supposed to be comforting?"

"I...oh boy..." He exhaled sharply.

"Whose blood is that, Fitz?"

"It's yours." Fitz said and saw her mouth drop open and stare at him in distraught. "This is...this is all coming out wrong." He stammered. "It was from a nosebleed. You were just a little girl and we struck up a conversation and then...you–you had this massive nosebleed. That's the truth, I swear."

"A little girl?" said Aria softly.

"Yeah...you looked about six or seven, maybe? You had that yellow hat and the teal coat...and Ella was there too."

Aria twitched a smile at the thought of the teal coat that had been her favorite until it no longer fit her. She thought how sad it was that people outgrew what they loved. She wondered if she remembered the teal coat from her own memory or was it because she had seen pictures of her in it numerous times? But one thing she was certain of was that Fitz was indeed telling her the truth.

"You were just as friendly then as you are now." Fitz said, making her smile. "But I didn't know a little girl like that could have such a powerful nosebleed."

Aria frowned at the image. Stepping forward, Aria brought her hand and rubbed the blood stain off his face. "There's a lot of things you don't know about that little girl."

"I have time to find out." He held her wrist lightly.

'No." Aria said immediately and shook her head vigorously. "I mean, what's the use? I'd rather you get to know me as I am now...not what's in the past."

Fitz studied her eyes and finally nodded. "Does that mean..."

"I'm sure it was nobody's fault." She answered and held both sides of his face, and tiptoed a bit and kissed him tenderly. "Besides, it's all in the past." She said as he wrapped his arm around her waist and smiled and pulled her in, dipping low for another kiss.

Ezra watched the kissing couple, and turned away to draw a long, relieved breath and felt as though he had been forgiven as well.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**hugsforlucy: Why'd you kill off Benham? I hate it when the dogs die!**

**- Me too. I'm sorry :(**

**Please don't forget to review! Thank you for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

_Everything was blue and quiet. Fitz kept his eyes open as he swam slowly and aimlessly. Being underwater seemed natural and he felt at ease although he did not know how far he was from the surface. And he found it strange but pleasing that he had yet to feel the need to go up for air. As he turned around, he smiled at the sight of Aria swimming to him. The way she moved and looked was celestial; the reflection of the faint light from the surface bounced off her skin, causing her to glow in the water. Fitz kicked his feet and met with her in one slow lunging motion. As they continued to tread water, he smiled and touched her cheek and in return, she held both sides of his face, and they shut their eyes and shared a soft kiss._

_Then came a small tug which had pulled them apart, compelling Fitz to open his eyes. He watched as the sea began to pull Aria back. Reaching for her hands, Fitz called out her name and began to panic when he saw the growing distance between them. He shouted her name again, but it had been a hopeless attempt, for the water drowned out all the sounds. Suddenly the sea had taken her completely while he continued to swim to her until realizing the abyss that was left before him._

**August, 2014**

His eyes flew wide open, and immediately he had the view of a white ceiling. His breathing gradually slowed down as he became aware that it had all been a dream, and in reality he was only in Aria's living room. He could not recall falling asleep on the couch nor did he know how much time had been lost from sleep.

An empty plate and a half empty glass of water on the coffee table clued him in and Fitz thought he must have had his dinner already. He reached for the glass of water and drank it empty, soothing his dry throat. The apartment was far too empty and quiet and he wondered if Aria was around somewhere. Getting up, he began to walk down the hallway and heard a faint noise coming from the bedroom, and so he took it as a guide and followed the sound.

When Fitz opened the bedroom door, he caught a glimpse of Aria's bare back and her lower body wrapped in sheets and, as he assumed, Ezra was on his back, holding her waist as she continued to ride him effortlessly. It was all in a flash before Fitz who felt overwhelmed by his intrusiveness shut the door, creating a loud, slamming sound. Aria gasped as she rolled over and covered herself with the sheets, hiding behind Ezra before looking at the door.

Looking down, Ezra reached out for her and said, "Hey…" He let his mouth graze over Aria's cheek and the small spot between her neck and shoulder. "It's just...him. Did you somehow forget?" He told her and she looked at him bashfully. Moving up a bit, he held the side of her face and pulled her in for a kiss and wrapped his left arm around her, lifting her up and letting her settle on top of him again.

Her skin was soft and milky, and he loved how she felt against him. He had always felt so wonderfully lost with every inch of her body and exploring all of her became one of his greatest pleasures in life. Whether it was leaving a trail of tender, wispy kisses on her neck or brushing his fingertips over her navel, and feeling the soft quivers of her stomach as he touched her–all of these acts had brought him to the cusp of unspeakable ecstasy. And she had somehow maintained to look and sound enticing and graceful throughout it all. Groaning at the lovely pressure her weight created, Ezra ran his hands over her thighs and pulled himself up to kiss her.

Through the door they could hear Fitz apologizing and fumbling over his words, making Aria laugh.

"I'm sorry. I can't do this...not while he's out there, saying that stuff." said Aria, as she looked at Ezra who shut his eyes in defeat knowing that the mood had been killed. Aria got off of him and leaned on his side, pressing her lips to his arm to suppress her laughter, as Fitz went on with his apology.

"He's like a little kid, I swear." Ezra said while sitting up and shaking his head.

She smiled and said, "You know every time you insult him, you're just insulting yourself."

"Once again, he's not me."

"But you will be."

"But not yet." Ezra insisted.

Aria reached up and pinched his nose as he grimaced before she went on to kiss him roughly. Then she climbed out of bed and walked to the door. Meanwhile Ezra pulled himself up and leaned against the headboard, admiring Aria's petite figure as she stood by the doorway.

Opening the door Aria smiled at Fitz who was left breathless by the raw exposure of the fine individual standing before him.

"How was your nap?" Aria had asked with a smirk on her face. "You seemed tired."

"It was alright. How was it in there?"

Aria swayed her head and shrugged. "I wouldn't know. Somebody interrupted us."

"I'm so sorry." Fitz repeated and Aria chuckled and touched his arm and told him that she was only joking. "It's just that–" He stopped himself and shook his head.

"What? What is it?" asked Aria.

"Nothing." Fitz forced a smile and stepped in, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

"Are you leaving?" She wrinkled her brows at him. "You don't have to leave."

Fitz studied her face before giving in and said, "I can cook something up...for all of us. Midnight snack? You must be...hungry." He shrugged.

"I've got a better idea." She said, intriguing him.

They walked on the cobbled street of Broadway and headed down to a quieter street. Of course it had not felt like past midnight, especially not in the city and especially not on a Friday night. People continued to hang around with their shopping bags and cigarettes between their lips, and laughed and talked loudly amongst themselves as if their worries had been put aside for the next morning. Most of the shops however were closed except for the small bars and dark restaurants which were situated in obscure spots.

Aria hooked her arm with Ezra while his arm was resting round her shoulder. And to her left stood a very uneasy Fitz. He wore a navy baseball cap and a grey hoodie and stuck his hands inside his pockets, feeling nervous to be walking outside with the couple. He wondered what would happen if someone were to recognize him while his younger self was present, or if he were to disappear in the middle of a conversation.

Fitz would always look back once he sensed Aria turning to check on him and he would smile when he caught her smiling at him. He enjoyed watching her walk with Ezra. It was like reliving the past, and in a way it really was–if all the small changes were to be ignored. And he did not feel out of place or as if he was some sad third wheel. The mere fact that Ezra was here with her was enough reason to be glad.

As they crossed the other street, Ezra questioned again why he had agreed to do this although he knew for himself already. The mere idea of Fitz and Aria taking a walk without him had made him feel jealous, and so he decided to agree to her plan. And after Ezra complained about what was happening now, Aria joked about his attitude and let go of him and went to Fitz and held his hand. And Fitz played along and pulled her aside and began to kiss her.

Instantly, Ezra sighed and shook his head at her and said, "Alright...alright! C'mon..." He approached them and gently pulled Aria away from Fitz who held her close to him, unwilling to end the kiss yet. And as Ezra parted them, she let out a laugh and gave Fitz one last playful look. "I don't know why I put up with this." Ezra mumbled and placed his arm back around her shoulder, and they began to walk again. Fitz remained behind them, grinning to himself and feeling a little bit better.

"You wouldn't do the same if there were two of me?" teased Aria, as she looked up at him.

"Oh, I'd do so much more. it'd break your heart." He said as she slapped him on the chest. Chuckling, he planted a kiss on the top of her head and stopped in his tracks and asked, "Now, where are we going?" He looked around as Aria held his waist and directed him to the left side of the street where an open restaurant glowed in red light and a couple of men stood outside, talking quietly and sharing a smoke.

When they entered the rustic bar Aria went straight to the area by the wall where it had a small table and two eighteenth-century armchairs on either side. The bar was long and dim and had a high ceiling and was predictably crowded. The back of the room seemed to be more alive and louder while the front remained with only a few chatter and a small group of friends huddled in their own tables. By the counter, there were a few stools aligned and a couple of guys sitting down, drinking quietly.

"Stay put. I'll be right back." Aria said to the identical men who took their own armchair. Aria trailed off to the bar and began to have a conversation with the bartender who was about a foot taller than her.

"Good evening, Andy." greeted Aria with a teasing smile on her face.

"You expect me to fall for that smile when you're bringing in not one but _two_ guys with you?" Andy pointed out as she looked over at Ezra's table and observed the men. "Twins?" asked Andy as she fixed her dark shoulder length hair to one side and looked down at Aria and saw her nod without hesitation. "That's adventurous."

"Not that adventurous. They might come in pairs, but I'm technically only dating one of them." Aria said and forced a smile at her lady friend. "Speaking of adventurous, how's Laura?"

Andy chuckled and shrugged foolishly. "She's still in hiding."

"What does that mean?" Aria asked seriously.

"Oh, you know…" Andy sighed. "When she's with me, she's all out and just–" She gave a shrugged. "But when her folks come around to visit, she's all prim and proper." Andy said dryly. "Like a real lady." She raised her eyebrows mockingly.

Aria pouted and said, "That sounds dreadful."

"Yeah, but then she's Laura again, and she does this _thing_ and totally makes up for it."

"I don't even know if I wanna know what that thing is. I just came here to get drinks...and an extra stool, you have any lying around?"

"Hey, my job is to mix drinks and get tips. I do not provide apparatus for your comfort."

Aria rolled her eyes and said, "I would've taken a simple no for an answer."

"Well, next time don't bring guys with you...at least not on my shift." Andy said, muttering the last part somewhat bitterly.

"Oh, quit it. You like Laura and I like men." Aria said and smiled and had told her the drinks she had in mind.

After a few drinks and laughs and a handful amount of serious conversations, Fitz began to feel lightheaded and rocky and quickly regretted the heavy drinking. He grew quiet as Aria who was not as buzzed but had appeared to be getting there very quickly, talked to Ezra closely, with her sitting comfortably on his lap and her hand around the back of his head. At times, she would dip down to kiss him. Fitz rubbed his eyes hard and swallowed hard, feeling what seemed like a lump going up his throat and wanting escape.

"Is that true, Fitz?" asked Aria as she turned her head to look at him and saw that he had shut his eyes for a moment. "Hey, are you okay?" Aria shot up and felt the blood in her head rushing, causing her to feel groggy for a moment. Meanwhile, Ezra looked on with his brow crossed.

"I think I need to go out for some air." Fitz said, forcing a smile and removing his baseball cap. He got up and took a couple of steps before walking unsteadily so Aria went up to support him, and the two headed out.

Ezra stood up and looked across the bar, catching Andy's eyes. She gave him a slight nod and so, Ezra took out his wallet and left some money on the table before going after Aria and Fitz. When Ezra had finally stepped outside, he saw them on the other end of the street with Aria standing before Fitz. Ezra could hear him yelling at her with his hand out in front of him.

"Don't stand too close." warned Fitz as he grimaced at the pain in his stomach. Fitz had a feeling that this was not a consequence from the drinking anymore. He had never felt this bad when drinking but then again he had also never traveled through time before either. In the midst of the pain, he wondered if this was a form of symptom, a sort of defense to keep him away from getting intoxicated.

Aria looked at him agitatedly before letting out a soft gasp and stepping forward, "You're fading…" She said, looking at his right hand. "Fitz…"

"Don't touch me! Please, baby–" He turned around and bent over, finally throwing up what he could.

Unable to help herself, Aria rushed to him and placed her hand on his back. "Listen to me, listen–" She whispered as Fitz wiped his mouth. "Stay with me...you did it once, you can do it again." She wanted to point out the fact that he was drunk and it was not the right time to disappear. It worried her but she did not want to discourage him by telling him that he was too intoxicated to do anything; it would defeat the purpose.

Fitz looked up and said, "I can't do it, Aria…I feel sick. I can't do it."

Aria grabbed his face, wiped his lips with her thumb and looked at him and said very softly, "I love you...I love you…" She pressed her forehead against his and whispered more words. "Don't go...stay out here with me. We'll walk home...and we'll sleep in our bed...then we'll cook breakfast the next morning. Waffles. We'll have waffles." She smiled as Fitz watched her lips.

"Please just get away…" said Fitz as he removed her hands from his face.

"Why? Why should I?" said Aria angrily.

Fitz grabbed her by the arms and raised his voice, "Because I can't risk losing you!" He saw her face grimace in pain as he accidentally clutched her hard, and he wished that this was not the last look he saw of her.

Stopping in his tracks, Ezra looked bewildered for a second to see both figures disappearing into thin air. "Aria?!" He yelled as he began to run.

**June, 2002**

Fitz saw flashing images in his head. There were glimpses of Aria's face inches away from his, his hands gripping her slender arms, and the crowded bar and Ezra finishing a drink. It replayed scene by scene in quick motions as the background remained black. Then a bright, orange light grew before his eyes and suddenly, he woke up and immediately breathed in smoke. Coughing, Fitz found himself in his old house in Greenwich. He had many nightmares but this nightmare was the only one that was actually real.

Fitz got up and ran out of his room while he covered his eyes from the smoke. He saw fire consuming the other side of the room. The ceiling in front of Wesley's room began to cave in and more fire was caught which spreaded onto the walls frighteningly fast.

But Fitz looked ahead and stared at a figure in the hallway, lying there. He couldn't remember if this was part of his memory but he went to the figure and realized that it was her. Oh, how he wished to see her face anywhere but here.

"Aria?" He let out and saw that she was asleep. Kneeling over her, Fitz slipped his arms under her legs and neck but before he could carry her, Wesley's cry rang in his ears. Looking across the room, he saw the door jamb on fire which fell over and blocked the doorway. Fitz glanced back at Aria and said, "Please wake up..." He touched her face and then looked once more at his little brother's door.

Fitz never thought of being stuck in a burning house with two of his dearest ghosts. The memory of this night remained as vivid as the first time, and it did so for all the wrong reasons. He would lose his younger brother on this day as he had lost him that night. And he had already considered Aria the same after witnessing what had happened to her by the lake. Unless of course he could finally find a way to stop it. And so, he asked himself once more the question that stuck at the moment: was there any point in saving ghosts?

Wesley's sharp cry resonated through the hallway. Fitz hesitated and looked at Aria and said softly, "I'll come back." Fitz kissed her forehead before rushing to his brother's room, cautiously jumping over the fire by the doorway. His eyes searched frantically for Wes and found him curled up in the corner with his knees pressed against his chest and his arms wrapped around them.

"Wesley…" Fitz said and ran to him. "Hey, hey, buddy–" He twitched a smile and hugged him. "I'm gonna get you out this time, okay?" Looking down, he noticed his left hand fading. With his arms wrapped around Wesley's small torso, he carried him and they rushed out of the room.

Then he heard a loud thud as Wesley fell out of his hold, as his arms vanished completely. Everything felt as though they were happening in heightened speed. Fitz fell over, his feet tangled by Wesley's body. And from a distance, he could hear Aria screaming. He looked up and saw Aria moving in a frenzied manner while patting her shirt which was caught on fire.

"Aria!" He called out then got up and ran to her but stumbled once more, realizing his feet were next to go. She looked up at him and saw that he was almost half gone, causing her to run towards him in fear that she would be left behind. All the while, the small fire slowly ate the hem of her shirt, lightly burning the skin on her side. In seconds flat, Aria had jumped and wrapped her arms securely around him.

**August, 2014**

The loud crashing sound caused his ears to perk up and instinctively, Ezra ran to the source and found Fitz lying on the floor, unconscious. He went over to him, grabbing him by the collar and attempted to shake him awake. "Where is she?!" yelled Ezra. "Where's Aria?!" When he realized Fitz was not coming soon, he let go and dropped him hard back on the floor. Ezra ran his hands over his head and paced back and forth until another crashing sound came from Aria's bedroom.

When he got to the room, he first saw the lamp in shattered pieces and beside the mess was Aria lying on her back with her burning shirt like ember. He bolted for her and grabbed her shirt, ripping it out of her. Touching her stomach, he noticed the red spot just below her rib cage where the burn sat, glowing light pink and fresh, and painfully warm. He clenched his jaw and brushed his hand over the spot, allowing himself to feel the unpreventable resentment he would have for his future self.

* * *

**Author's note:**

**ronjafitz:**  
**Does Aria die in January 2015? And when Fitz is in January 2015 (the future?), and Aria is lying on the beach or whatever it is, are they a couple then? Or are they not together, and that's the reason why Aria is not in the water, lifeless?**

**Fitz and Aria have always been a couple, especially in 2015. Just think of it as present Ezra is just slowly becoming future Fitz, so yes they are a couple. :) And as for your other question regarding Aria's death, you'll just have to tune in! **


End file.
